We’re going to be a little serious today (more than normal)
Preface: If this offends you, if you don’t want to read anymore, that’s fine. Don’t want to hear an argument, if you don’t understand what I’m saying here, research it, don’t throw a bunch of hypothetical situations at me, and don’t try and justify things to me.
I’ve been in a bad mood for a while now. People say really insensitive things to me all the time. They don’t realize it, and they never want to hear a reason why it’s insensitive so I always try to let it slide. This last week, I’ve struggled with that massively. It’s my problem, and it’s my fault. I’ve known for so many years now how little people care about saying nasty things to me. Most of the time my own family isn’t even interested in hearing me out as to why something bothers me. So I keep that inside, and I don’t say anything. It seems like I talk a lot, but I’m never really saying anything. It’s how I protect myself. It seems paradoxical, but trust me it’s not.
When people accuse me of not caring, it really is just too much. My whole life has been spent with a very acute awareness of the pain we cause each other, our evolutionary cousin animals and plants, how much stress we put on our environment. I have always been very aware of my own mortality, and the mortality of those around me, those I care about. Every day countless atrocities are carried out across this world, every single person carrying out these atrocities is absolutely certain they are justified. There are people who think what they are doing is justified, and there are others that think they aren’t. There doesn’t have to be a “war” for these things to happen, we do them every day, without fail. To point to one event or another and claim yours was better or worse does nothing to change things. The fact that these things keep happening, mean nothing we have done has stopped it. Which means we have to find a new way, something that hasn’t been tried in full yet. It means we need a full shift in consciousness. We also have to stop justifying our actions that keep the cycle moving. Even I have to do that. But on a broad scale, just because someone killed your brother, doesn’t mean you should go kill them. Because there will always be someone aggrieved. It doesn’t mater who started it, it will just keep going.
But if you want to tell me I don’t know about x, y, z event, and it was just too terrible, beyond my comprehension, since I’m too stupid to know about this thing (which, chances are I do know about x, y, z event and it’s irrelevant to what I’m saying) I want you to think about this. The worst genocide on the face of the planet was carried out over the course of centuries, in my homeland, and no one raised an army to stop it, no one talks about it, no one says “remember x, y, z event so it never happens again”. Don’t believe me, here’s a more milquetoast accounting of the Native genocide on the American continent. Until you get that horrible shit happens every single day to humans, animals, plants, and the planet itself, and that the truly worst things human beings have ever done aren’t even talked about generally, don’t tell me about how much such and such event justifies murdering people, even the murder of other people. It won’t end until we all see there is never a justification. If it’s wrong the first time, then it’s wrong the second time, and it keeps being wrong, and self-preservation is not an acceptable excuse.
Because I’m so upset about this, I’m going to keep going and then you get another song. So anyway, I put enough pressure on myself with these things. Every day getting that if something terrible were to happen to my friends or family, I know I can’t justify doing the acceptable thing and seeking revenge. That doing that makes my whole life a lie, and leaves me with a wasted life. This idea has been something I’ve understood for only a short time, but something I’ve felt my whole life.
If you’ve ever been called a friend by me, know that I have imagined your death. It’s strange but I’ve always done it, I’ve always understood that everyone I know will die, and my mind has always wandered to “How will I feel when so-and-so dies?” which inevitably leads me to different scenarios in which people die. It’s all terribly depressing, knowing your friends and family won’t be there one day. Why speed that up? But these things keep me up at night, they made me terribly depressed when I was younger. Even today it’s upsetting at times, because when it really does happen it sucks. It’s why I hate going to funerals and stuff, I’ve already been there, and they’re a reminder that I have to keep doing it. So when I can avoid funerals I do.
Now I don’t want to share anymore today, I will run tomorrow and I may not share then either, I might not share for a while. I’m very upset and I need to calm down, I need to get my shit together, put it in a shit backpack, take it to the shit store and sell it, I don’t care what I do with it, I just need to get my shit together.
Meanwhile, stop thinking any war is anything more than an attempt by those in power to grab more resources and control. The terrible things the true-believers do in the name of this power-grab are irrelevant. Even without a war we do terrible things in the name of resources. This laptop, your computer screen you’re reading this on right now, the cellphone you press to your ear, your television, all manner of modern conveniences, made with the products of slave-labor. Not even going to get into stupid shit like whale hunts and elephant and rhino poaching. the poverty this system causes is a world-wide epidemic, that’s sickening enough. But one more word. That hamburger you’re eating, amazing cruelty went into farming that meat, not to mention the destruction it caused to the environment, and the starvation it caused because the 9 lbs of plant protein that went to feed that cow for 1 lb of cow protein could have fed 9 times more people than you and the 3 others that are enjoying that quarter-fucking-pounder with cheese. Do the math, 4 people, 36 people. Don’t you even begin to tell me I don’t understand, that I don’t know, and that I’m just stupid. In conclusion, just because I don’t start crying about some war crime, when war crimes happen ever single day on this planet, don’t tell me I don’t care. Just because I won’t submit to your idea that a particular war crime is justification for committing your own murders, don’t call me stupid. In short, fuck you. Negativity over. Going to get my shit together now.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Completely missed yesterday!
I’ll chalk it up to “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” I was in a bad mood when I finished my run yesterday, all I could think of was all the things that piss me off around here. And that’s not a good thing. But I managed to get a decent mileage in and top 110 miles for the month. Today I got another few miles in.
So as Cinco De Mayo nears, I realize it’s very hard to find lime anything in this country. For an area with tons of citrus, they grow no limes, my students don’t even know what a lime is! I have to describe it in terms of a lemon, and it sucks because this is a vocabulary word for some of them. How does one make guacamole, or margaritas, or Thai food, or anything good without limes? So my idea is, when I finally have a place of my own and some room to grow things, I will have to grow limes. It’s a crime, such perfect citrus weather and they don’t have limes.
So yesterday, I finally remembered to bring the cans of tuna and a thing of pancetta that my roommate had left behind into work. My apartment is now 100% meat free! Some times it’s the little things that are most exciting. I’ve managed to survive pretty well here, although sometimes I catch attitude about vegetarianism, but once I found where everything was, it’s been easy to stay the course. Even in a small town with not much to offer. While my running, social life, and other aspects have been compromised by the area, at least my diet hasn’t. The longer I stay away from meat though, the more militant about it I feel like I’m getting. Maybe it is the reactions I get here about it. As I finished my run yesterday Propagandhi’s “Nailing Descartes to the wall (liquid) Meat is still murder” came on my mp3 player, and I belted it out to the collective indifference of the locals on the street. It is a foreign language to them, and they’re generally indifferent about everything, until it’s time to drive and then they’re the most impatient SOBs ever!
Alright, here it is:
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Back to it
So I decided, as much as I need to rest, I may as well hit 120 miles for the month. That means I hit the grind for another 5 miles today. Next month I really have to step back, I’m also going to postpone my long run by one week to give myself more rest.
We’re closing in on the end of April, the first third of 2016 is already almost completely behind us! Can you believe it? Today is primary day in several states, including Connecticut. I have already submitted my absentee ballot because I #FeeltheBern. Some people I know are not, they are hung up on the gun issue, which is a big issue for me. But the problem is it’s the one thing I disagree with Bernie on, whereas I have disagreed with the other candidates on almost every single issue. If they didn’t change their mind at some point along the way, I still do disagree. I also trust the Bernie is the one candidate who can be persuaded to change his mind on the gun issue, whereas I think no other candidates will change their mind on any issue, and will just be more of the same. I think Bernie can also move the balance of power in Congress, and get things done.
It doesn’t matter who you support though, go out there and make a fuss, be heard. It’s important. Not just at the ballot box, but at the cash register and everywhere else. Things won’t change until we make it change, and we all have to do our part, and there’s so much more to it than voting. Particularly considering how corrupt the system as become worldwide. It starts with getting educated, properly educated. It’s one thing to be able to read and write, it’s another thing to run off believing everything because it fits your worldview instead of being able to think critically about the information and if it is supported by the scientific method. If it’s not supported by science, there’s a good chance you’re looking at it wrong, or absolutely are looking at completely bad information.
But be active, don’t be passive, we need to act, and not just talk:
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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What a weird day, nothing!
Run yesterday, no run today. In the morning I’ll run again. Today was kind of a wash. The weather was terrible, but it’s a national holiday in Italy. The day picked to celebrate the overthrow of Mussolini and the expulsion of the Nazis. So I did mostly nothing. I liberated myself from worrying about as much as possible. Until my stove ran out of gas, and of course the gas place was closed. I managed to bodge together a decent dinner though with some frozen veggie patties I purchased which I was able to cook in the oven.
Beyond that, I did my push-ups, watched some TV and movies. I watched The Producers (the original with Gene Wilder), I thought it terribly apropos today, you know Springtime for Hitler and all. Every time I watch that movie, that number just cracks me up. Sometimes a good laugh is just what you need. Then I watched An Inconvenient Truth, because sometimes you need to remind yourself about the stakes. Throw in some Rick and Morty and some Ikki Tousen and you have yourself an interesting day.
Luckily, tomorrow I don’t work until later. I need to hustle back to the store and grab a couple things and I need to sort out the gas situation, and finish a few other little odds and ends. Short week at least and we’re getting to the point where I have to make a decision about next school year.
thanks to An Inconvenient Truth, I give you some snapcase:
with lyrics for the hardcore challenged:
You’re poisoning the sole essence
Poisoning your whole existence for the substitution of cognition
Walking around like the living dead
Killing yourself
Killing yourself
Why do we kill ourselves to live
Wafer-thin
New role models
Suffer yourself caught in a fashion spin
Full subscription
False admission
Walking around with an empty head
A standard wage
Routine daily
Overindulge and live inside a cage
Repetition of blurred vision
Minimum gain from the blood we shed
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Feelin’ the Bern
Yeah, I ran today. I got my Tiger Balm in the post too, and I voted! Absentee, in the Democratic primary in my home state of Connecticut. I proudly ticked off my Bernie Sanders box and sent that straight back in the mail! So, hopefully in November I’ll be ticking a box next to Bernie’s name again.
All in all, not a bad day. Got lots done with work in between. Was a rainy morning, supposed to stay rainy all week. We’ll see what happens, I hope it doesn’t I really could use some easy, dry runs. I’m going to cut it short tonight, time for dinner and whatnot. I’ll sit down and put in some effort tomorrow.
Have fun, keep running and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
And apparently this didn’t post last night…
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Earth Day and Passover, it’s a two-fer!
No run today, it’s Friday. I did some stuff though. I was challenged complete to the #22Kill pushup challenge. The idea is to post a video of yourself doing 22 pushups every day for 22 days to raise awareness of Veteran suicide in the US. An average of 22 veterans kill themselves every single day in the Unites States. Veteran suicide is something, and I talk about it a little in my video, that has affected my family. If we’re going to have wars, we need to take care of the people that go to fight them. If we’re not going to do that, which we don’t, then we need to stop having wars. In fact, we need to just stop having wars and this particular problem goes away.
So, that is something I will be participating in. If you’d like to be nominated to do the challenge, send me a message and I will put your name up.
It’s also Earth Day, every day should be Earth Day. Let’s face it, we only have one planet to live on and we have to start taking care about it, and thinking about taking care of it on more than just one day. It’s funny because someone posted about the philosophy of Gaia, that the Earth is a living organism and everything is interconnected, and I was like, well you can prove that. You can. Look at how the Earth is reacting to the damage we do, it is trying desperately to correct the mess we’re making. You take certain things out of biomes and you can destroy species, you can destroy the entire biome. This stuff is proven, the Earth is all one, and we’re not separate from it, we are part of it. We need to start acting that way, we need a sustainable life. Currently, our entire system is not based on sustainability and we’re searching for sustainability in an inherent unsustainable system, it’s a fool’s errand. The system must change if we are to survive. The good news is though, the Earth will survive, because if we get it too far out of balance, the Earth will evict us.
Also, it’s the first night of Passover, so I wish all my friends who are reading this and celebrating the Holiday, Chag Sameach. In honor of the day, I’m giving you some NoFX! Ha! This song is too funny.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Not a bad run
It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad. I’m trying to hit my usual 120 miles for a month and I shouldn’t. I should be resting and recovering. No biggie though, I’ll sort it out one way or the other. Really I just need a distraction. With my roommate gone I have too much time with myself which is not a good thing. But at least I get to play music whenever I want now, which is often. I’m a musical person.
Other than that, I made an outstanding dinner tonight arancini and a salad. I have just about perfected the arancini. By far these were the best I’ve done so far. Salad is salad, nothing to talk about there.
I’m not into thinking tonight, sorry, honestly. Here’s some deep Alan Watts stuff. Also 750cl of a 12% vol. wine is 90cl of alcohol. Just sayin’
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Tuesday, so far, so good
Yep, woke up on time, got out there and did an easy few miles with my friends. Had a few to talk to a friend I miss dearly who seems to be troubled, I am guilty of not checking in with people enough. Had a lovely breakfast, corrected some papers, got some sun. Just had a light lunch, and am considering going to the store to buy a few consumables, kitchen sponges and toilet paper mostly. I don’t NEED those things right now, but I like having a little stockpile, because you never know! Other than that, I need a haircut and then to go to work this afternoon.
So last night I went out with some adult students for some coffee and we talked about politics. I explained that if you can’t find any candidates who will work for the people, then you have to go to the party meetings, you have to find the right person to nominate and support them and get all your friends to support them. If you can’t find a person, then you have to be the person to run. Government and politics, it’s not just a once a year, or once every other year thing, it’s every day. You have to be involved, every day. These corrupt bastards in every corner of the world count on people not being involved. The count on people throwing their hands up and saying “there’s no one worth voting for.” Today is the New York State primary, if people don’t go and show up for the candidate who has spent his entire adult life fighting for the people, then they have no one to blame but themselves that there is no “choice” this year. Look, here’s why I don’t support Hillary: I am a socialist (note the small “s”, it is important). Would she be better than Drumpf or Rafael Cruz? Yes. Do I agree with her on things? Not most of the time. I hate “free trade” agreements, I think fossil fuels are way past their expiration date, I don’t appreciate some of her past comments on certain social issues, I’m not going to get into that, and I’m not going to attack her personally. I simply don’t agree with her on many things. Is Bernie perfect either, no? I understand his votes sometimes on gun legislation, I get some of his reasoning behind the votes, but I am vehemently anti-gun. He is, for my point of view on life, the best candidate though. So I will support him in my limited capacity, and keep pushing him to change his mind on some points in gun legislation.
But I don’t disenfranchise myself simply because I see a lack of choice. If Bernie doesn’t get the nomination I will still vote, no matter how imperfect the choice is, maybe I’ll vote for Jill Stein. If you don’t vote, you immediately hand a victory to all the politicians who have turned you off to the process. If you want more control over the process, take it. Get all your like-minded friends and go to meetings of whatever party you think will support your ideas best. Bring along enough people, or be ready to win over enough people to your ideas. Do your research, have your ideas set clearly and concisely. Go for it. We have to do it, it’s the only way we can win. The other option is to get all your friends together and completely drop out. You can either go for 100% participation, or don’t participate at all. You can’t half-ass it like most of us do. Not participating at all also has problems. People may really come after you for that. But if you’re going that route, you have to fully not participate. That means off-grid completely. Can’t use roads, electricity, any publicly funded infrastructure. Be self-sufficient, and if you’re not, you need to be willing to pay the price for it. The point is, most people are half in, and half out, and never decide, and now we all have this mess to deal with.
Democracy is a pain in the ass for sure, take a lot of work. Anything worthwhile is going to be work. Your choice, in or out, but get off the fence.
And a hearty congratulations to all my friends who did their very best up in Boston, whatever your day brought you, trials or triumph, I hope you had a great day up there!
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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There’s some race today I think
I did not run, as per my plan. Tomorrow I’ll get back out for a very easy few miles with the guys.
So I’m pretty sure everyone’s aware that I have no desire to run Boston. Even if I were fast enough to qualify, I don’t like the city, I’m not a fan of big races (and does it get any bigger?), and I’m certainly not a fan of doing the “it” thing and Boston is very fashionable.
That being said, I have alot of friends running it today, which I am very proud of them. More than that, I am extremely proud of so many of my friends who went up to volunteer for the race. To help with whatever needs to get done to make the race happen.
So often people think a race us just a bunch of people in funny clothes blocking up traffic, but the fact is the organizers, volunteers, medical and public safety professionals who are out there actually making it all possible are the stars. That’s true from the biggest race to the smallest. Countless person-hours, mostly from unpaid volunteers make every race happen.
You can’t make too big a deal about how important and how appreciated race volunteers are. And most races are not big money-makers for the organizers either. Yes, they turn a profit, but unless your race is exceedingly popular, you’re not making a ton of money off them. Remember, as a race gets bigger more expenses accrue. To a point of course.
So good luck to any and all racing today, volunteering today, working today. Not just in Boston, but everywhere, no matter what. Do your best today! Every morning you wake up is a chance to do something great!
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Back on the horse
Oh it felt good, 9 miler, decent pace, still loads of pain. My foot was alright, my hamstring still needs rest and my left quad started acting up. My Garmin actually recommended 3 days of recovery, who wants to take bets on me following that advice?
So, two days after being asked to spend next school year here, the only public transportation with any sort of workable schedule has broken down twice on me; last night my water simply didn’t work, and apparently that happened to half the town! Seems people say that happens sometimes. As much as I don’t believe in “messages” I can’t help but feel I’m trying to be told something. Tragically, the other day, I was mentioning the poor infrastructure around here. It sickens me that there are places in this world even worse than this. It’s inexcusable, there’s no investment around here, and there’s very little improvement. They just redid the beautiful church in town, but for the most part, the big infrastructure, water, power, transportation, nothing happens. They have some newer trains for the Circumvesuviana, but they mostly run on the Sorrento line. There simply aren’t enough of the newer trains to meet demand. The schedules are a mess, and the fact it’s a single line going both directions can make for long delays.
Today I need to go try and vote as a “homeless” Italian, the referendum is up as to if they want to drill in the sea for oil (which all estimates say there isn’t much there) or if we want to invest in solar, and renewables. Anyone want to guess how I feel?
Which brings me to another point. One of my bookfaces friends posted a meme that one of their friends posted likening factory farming to slavery and Jim Crow lynchings, etc. OK, yes we need a “shift in consciousness” as Jeremy Rifkin says. We need to start looking at other humans as our brothers and sisters, and animals as our evolutionary cousins. We need to stop looking at everything as a resource to be used. This is true. And we do absolutely need to stop eating meat, or certainly stop eating as much meat as we do. It’s bad all around, and the treatment of the animals makes us all guilty of some terrible crimes. We’re not good people if we keep our current farming practices, this is 100% true. But it is in no way the same as what we’ve done to our brothers and sisters for hundreds of years. Factory farming isn’t even 100 years old yet, and when we’re done with it, we won’t put up barriers to animals in the workplace, or keep them from owning homes, etc. No one’s going to blame a hog for raping its sister, even though it was the guy down the street and hang the hog up after beating to to near death and let it just sit there dying while everyone sits around and watches.
Yes, intersectionality is a thing, yes, animal rights is absolutely a part of that, but each part has it’s own problems, are its own crimes, and needs attitudes changed on it. That does not mean that one part of it is like another! Don’t be so fucking insensitive and obtuse about it, because if you are then you’re being no better than the ignorance you claim you’re trying to fight. When you put up stupid fucking memes that piss people off, you don’t help either cause, all you do is alienate yourself, and give those who would uphold the status quo ammunition against the movement to shift human consciousness, into a biosphere consciousness, to a place where we start to see things as we should, as part of the whole, not as part of a world fit for consumption.
It pisses me off so much when people say stupid shit and waste everyone’s time. If you are concerned that what you may say is monumentally stupid, please shut up and carry on what you’re doing. If you need to be corrected in any way, someone will say something to you, be ready to listen. If not, you’re doing great sport, keep your mouth shut and try not to make the rest of us actually striving for togetherness and justice look like a bunch of morons. Thanks.
I think this calls for some Gorilla Biscuits:
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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