So hey, I’ve been keeping up with 10k every running day, although on June 1 that’s probably going to change a little bit because I have a very important visitor coming. My sister’s oldest is in Rome right now, and I get to hang out with one of my favorite human beings for a week or so before she goes back to the US, and most things can’t compare to keeping my running going, but there are a few exceptions.
So I’ve been reflecting on a lot of things. Firstly, I have to vote in the morning in the EU parliament elections. I’ve decided to vote +Europa. It’s so hard, because the left is so fractured here. I really would prefer to vote communist, but I know they won’t have a chance at a seat, but it seems +Europa might have a chance at the seat here in Southern Italy. I know that fucking fascist Salvini will pick up the majority, but what can you do, I can’t force people to stop being stupid.
It’s killing me though, watching this slow lurch back into a fascist shitstorm, yet I also want to get myself out of this depression and you know, maybe have a family, just in case humanity can pull itself out of this death-spiral. But that also would require me to go out and meet people, and as I started cleaning my apartment today, I realized how deep my depression has been. Specifically, I just sorted reciepts back to 2017. Which means I’ve just basically been phoning it in since late in 2017.
But at least I recognize the issue and I’m doing what I can to fix it. I can only handle my own problems, I can’t do anything about other people’s problems. I can try and explain to people how they can make the world a better place, and I feel I’ve done that pretty well most of the time. But at the same time, I end up running up against things that make me lose my optimism about the whole mess. A good example, I just get so mad about the whole sales pitch from media companies, conditioning people to get upset about “spoilers” when in reality it’s just a way to cover for really shitty story telling. Yet people get really mad at me about things like that, and claim I’m elitist, but I’m not. I’m about democratization. You should be able to know the story and still enjoy the story-telling, that’s good writing! There are stories I can read, or listen to, or watch, again and again and again and again and always get that feeling of wonder, hope, joy, whatever the emotion may be regardless. That’s because the story is well-told. That’s because the message is right on and the writer, or the orginator, because some stories don’t have a credited author, did a damned good job.
There are stories like John Henry, an American Folk Tale. that I just love, no matter how many times I hear it, no matter how many times I read it.
The point being, a good story is a good story, it doens’t matter if you know what’s coming. If knowing what’s coming ruins it for you, it’s a BAD STORY. And, Avengers SPOILERS, if Steve Rogers goes back in time and lives his life again, and sits there knowing all the bad shit that will happen and doesn’t stop it, HE’S NOT A HERO! He’s a fucking villian and needs to stand trial for allowing all that bad shit to happen. End the fuck of.
OK, onto other things, I am, I’m just really tired, the depression has apparently been kicking my ass for a long time. Hopefully, this is the end of it and things start to come around. I think recognizing it goes a long way. I think I know what I want now. I have been working really hard on a bunch of differnet fronts. I’m just doing my best, like I will tomorrow in the elections and I can only cast one vote, and beyond that it’s up to other people. I’ve told them, Trump and Salvini use the same rhetoric and in the US right now children are dying in custody, due to Trump’s lack of care, lack of ideas, lack of actual plans. I don’t know if people listen, I just do what I can.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run, then so can you!
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