{"id":881,"date":"2016-03-29T06:29:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-29T11:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gilcanrun.com\/?p=881"},"modified":"2016-03-29T06:29:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-29T11:29:00","slug":"final-week-of-the-distance-challenge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gilcanrun.com\/?p=881","title":{"rendered":"Final week of the distance challenge!"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I’m back to life, and reality here in Somma. Yesterday, before leaving Trani I managed to trip and twist my ankle bad enough that it made me fall. It’s still sore, it was very sore last night. But not much swelling to speak of and no bruising to speak of, so I went out and ran this morning<\/a>. I figured if it started hurting worse I could spin it around and head back to the apartment. I know plenty of ways back from different points in my usual route. If you recall this is not the first time I’ve twisted an ankle and then continued running on it, the New Jersey Marathon last year, right before the start, and then I finished that marathon. This is over a week out, so I think I should have plenty of time to rest up, even putting another 32 miles on it this week.
\nSo I definitely process pain differently than other people. That much is for sure.
\nI haven’t had a chance to download pictures from the weekend off my camera yet, but I will share as soon as I can. This morning was busy between the run, and going to the store, and personal grooming issues. I will have to revisit my legs tomorrow, as I have a feeling I will need some KT Tape come next weekend. Either my thigh, or my ankle, or both! I think I also need to order some tiger balm. But I do get the opportunity to rest a little next week. And I have taken to meditation again, I realized I have not been taking any real time for myself, so I will spend 30 minutes (minimum) every day gathering myself, my energy (my chi if you will). I started yesterday morning in Trani. After busting my ass in that pothole, I went to the end of the breakwater, as far out to sea as you can go walking, and sat on the rocks, silently, still, and just let the world happen around me.
\nIt was funny how it all came together, and it worked out nicely. Most of my mind was directed at a song that was playing the day before while I was running. Out of all the songs I listen to it probably speaks the most to me about my youth, but the more I think about it I realize it also speaks to me right now. It always will. One of my friends the other day, posted about how she came across old epistles she had penned, and how she didn’t miss the angst and anguish she felt as a youth. I thought about that as the song played, and I thought about it again yesterday. I thought about how this song made me feel, and how I always felt out of place, out of step. I still do to this day. I love life, but I have an unease about it. I feel like something is very wrong, we’re getting something very wrong, and it gets worse, and it needs to be corrected. And people complain about the youth, and the other, and they seem to always miss the point. I’ve never had a problem trying to articulate that, but I feel most really miss the boat.
\nAll the best coaches in any sport I’ve played have always said the same thing, “When things go wrong on the field, don’t blame someone else on the team, ask what YOU could have done better.” They had their own way of saying it, and they didn’t just say it as a thing. When we lost in the Northeast Regionals for Rugby Junior Year, the coach said to us, “That’s my fault, I taught you guys how to play and win, but I never taught you how to play and keep your heads when you were behind.” He blamed himself for the loss, right in front of all of us. We sat there and we all mentioned something we could have done to perform better and maybe win, we only lost by less than a try, so it’s not like it was a blowout, we really had the team to win it, but we didn’t keep our heads and got impatient trying to get that go ahead try.
\nSo I feel that is lacking in this world, introspection, as to what we can do to improve things. Not just for ourselves, but for our fellow humans. I’ve always felt a responsibility to others, and I’ve always understood any change needs to come from within myself. I’ve also always been abrasive about it, because when I was younger I was less patient with others. These things were inherent, they were obvious to me, and it pissed me off it wasn’t obvious to others. It still does, I’m just a little more patient now. Not much more. But that’s all that’s changed with me. I know still we need to do better. I’m not satisfied with the way things are, I’m not complacent. If I do have kids, I don’t want them growing up in a world like this. The system needs to change, and it requires a change within each of us, as Jeremy Rifkin says, “We need to have a shift in consciousness.” It’s 100% true, in order for things to change, we must change within ourselves, our mindset, our language must change. Language is as much a way of thinking as it is a way of communicating. It all needs to shift, into something more sustainable.
\nSo I will maintain, I will stay the course, and I will always be that kid staring in the mirror, I’ll always be a “Streetkid named desire.”
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