All Clear!
Today was a much better run. I mean generally, I was feeling a little more tired, but no poo problems and everything else worked out. What I did today overall though was actually a little special, not completely amazing, but a little special. I topped 6,000 miles since I started running! Today’s run also put me back on track for this month’s training schedule, I just need 5 miles by Monday morning.
So that’s it, since 2012 I have traveled 6,004 miles as of today. As of June, that’s 5 years. At my current mileage average I should hit 10,000 miles by the end of 2020. I will have to see what happens though, because you never know.
I’m just checking in tonight, I need sleep, badly. So I will talk to you all soon, I promise! May Day is coming on Monday!
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Cutting it short
Today I was struck by the most feared enemy of the long-distance runner…INTESTINAL DISTRESS! No seriously, yes I giggle like a 12 year-old when it comes to poop, but it was bad today. I had everything go well before the run. Woke up, had breakfast, went to the bathroom, like clockwork. Everything felt good, and all was running smoothly, and about mid-way through it just hit. I had to walk most of the last two miles, out of fear. Yes, THAT fear! I even cut the run half a mile short of where I wanted to be for the day. It’s another holiday weekend here and I don’t want to spend all my time running.
It is late here, I had much to do after the run today, so I left this until tonight. After the run, I did what the intestinal distress demanded I do. Then showered, shaved, and ran off to get my hairs cut. Yes, I get more than one cut! By then it was a matter of throwing lunch together and getting out the door for work. Worked, stopped at the store on the way to the train, watched a very boring Manchester Derby while I made dinner, and now I have a minute.
But listen, the whole intestinal distress thing, it’s funny but it’s no joke. Be careful out there if things are off, you can do damage to yourself. You can cause an injury if you try to run faster than you should due to circumstances. There’s always a lot that can happen on a run. So always listen to your body during training. PRs are for races, for controlled conditions, the world of training is (for non-elite athletes) a (no pun intended) crap-shoot. Just do what you can, and if you can’t perform that day, so be it. Make the miles count, don’t just count the miles! What I did was try to make the last however long into a tempo run. As fast as I could run for as far as I could run basically. It didn’t work great, but it worked a little.
So just do what you can, it doesn’t have to be something overly heroic. We’re not out competing for market share, endorsement deals or any of that nonsense. We’re out to make ourselves healthier, and to be better than we were the day before. I’ve touched on that a million times. It’s all about being better than you were yesterday. Whether we’re talking running, or in life. The only person we should ever be in competition with is ourselves. This is the problem with almost the entire world. Everyone is looking to beat the person next to them, and it trips everyone up. It slows everyone down and it kills us. Literally, given we are in the 6th major extinction event, this may kill us all. The only person you should every try to beat, is the person you were yesterday. Any other view of the world turns into domination, which turns into oppression, and then whomever ends up “in control” (which there is no control) positions the rules to perpetuate the oppression ad infinitum.
Look to yourself, control yourself. That’s it. That’s all there is. The rest of the world is as it is. The appearance of human “control” over any of this is a matter of illusion and causes us to hurt each other. You can only control yourself, and your reactions to things. We try and control nature, and we make species go extinct. We try and control our made up idea of wealth and we oppress others with racism, sexism, and all manner of bigotry. The only thing any person can ever hope to be a master of is themselves. That is the only wealth worth owning, being in control of yourself, being in control of your own life. Even if you attain that ideal, there is no extending outward from there. Yes, there are wrong actions in this world which require extreme reactions from all of us. Sometimes we must instruct others in ways which make the message very clear that their action was unacceptable. But we still have no control over them in the end. We can only hope we instruct them to improve themselves, and cease the action which is unacceptable.
It may be possible to remove that person completely from society. But I think that should be a rare instance. It’s very difficult to get through to so many, but once the ideas of modern wealth are destroyed, I think it will become easier. Once an understanding is in place, that this system was set up by one particular class of people, from one particular geographic location, and was set up to only serve them, and participation in that system will always yield the same results, to the benefit of the same people, I think it will become easier to instruct all but the most stubborn of those among us. At which point, removing them from participation in a just and equal society will become a simple matter.
Maybe I watched too much Star Trek as a kid. But I really believe all this. There are already so many out there who already understand this, and unfortunately they are mostly the ones who are designed to be the outsiders in the current system. They are ignored and dismissed by so many people who buy into the current insanity of the world. So many who participate in a system designed to keep them down, yet also designed to keep the people who already understand the underlying truth as scapegoats. As targets for the pawns. To keep the workers distracted and divided, so they don’t ever question the dominance of the rulers.
Anyway, I have to head to bed, have lots of miles to put in tomorrow! Hope this makes enough sense tonight, and gets you a little uncomfortable, and maybe helps you think about how you can improve. Some of you reading, don’t have to improve, some of you are of that outsider caste, and I’m sorry for that.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Happy Liberation Day (kind of)
A beautiful day! It’s a holiday here, Liberation Day, where they celebrate the North expelling the Nazis from their lands. The South had been cleaned of Nazis in 1943, but you know, they don’t want people to know that the South of Italy sometimes has its shit together. Yes Allied forces were needed, but no one down here was in love with what was happening. Generations of stealing the wealth of the South left this area poorly and unable to fight for themselves. But anyway, I took advantage of the day off and ran more than my usual. The only fault of the day is a little cloud cover would have been nice for the run. Other than that, it was perfect. Well, less people on the Lungomare, but that’s not the day’s fault!
Thinking about “Liberation Day” and all the bullshit with the Piedmont Rulers stealing the land down here and the wealth, the subsequent violence and exodus, the generations of keeping the South under their thumb, and I just keep thinking, how much we need to knock all this crap off. These same bandits, or their proxies gallivant across the Earth pulling this shit. Finding resources, stealing wealth, oppressing the people, making them work for practically nothing, or sometimes actually nothing. Meanwhile they funnel all the wealth they can into their own coffers. They sell us this lie that this is the way it’s supposed to be, that we can’t be trusted to look after ourselves, to be responsible. Depending on the circumstances of your birth you are given different levels of autonomy.
I have said many times over, this is not what life is supposed to be. I have said, Europeans and those of European descent have to change how they view the world. They have to understand that they have not stopped treating the world the way they scoff at and deride their predecessors when they learn about the colonialism of the “past”. The only difference now is that people are given the illusion of choice. The people running things make it look like those who are being exploited have somehow chosen their exploitation. “Well, they voted for such and such”. You know they didn’t. Firstly, most people don’t go out and vote. Those who are inclined to do so in these banana republics are dissuaded, blocked, silenced, or outright killed.
Why do I talk about this so much? You may ask yourself. Well for one, it’s the right thing to do. You should not be comfortable, nor complacent about how the world is running. You should be asking yourself if you should be able to sleep at night with all this bullshit happening. You should not. It’s the right thing, because all people are my family. No one should work in bondage in “artisanal” mines (no joke, that’s what they call them) just so the price of an iPhone stays below $700! The raw material mining for most modern conveniences is absolutely disgusting. In the end, most of that money isn’t even staying in the countries where the materials are being removed from. Yep, there’s a hypocrisy to me typing this out on a practically new computer. Makes me a little sick thinking about it. But, I have to get the message out there. But I do what I can, and honestly that was the most upsetting part about getting robbed. Knowing I had to buy new things that were causing other people so much pain in this world.
This is not what we are supposed to be doing. I see pictures from Hubble, from telescopes all over the world. I read about all the NASA and ESA missions I can. I’ve said many times, we are supposed to be explorers, we’re supposed to discover everything we can about the Universe. We are the Universe, looking in on itself. Yet we can’t get past treating each other like garbage. The really sad part of that is, it’s a learned behavior, a behavior we started ourselves. In that there is one group that is responsible for a vast majority of this learned behavior, and they’re the ones who must change. Yes, European peoples all over the world. That is where it begins. Because as nice as it is we talk about going to Mars, returning to the Moon, maybe finding life of Europa, or Io, or Titan the fact is we will stay as small, petty, and inconsequential as we act towards each other. If we really want to do great things, stop trying to conquer, stop thinking your idea is better, stop thinking you know better. Move forward, with everyone.
I get that people buy into the bullshit that people can’t be trusted with their own autonomy. That this is the best way, and simply some people don’t “measure up”. OK, look at it this way. In the current system, let’s say we wipe the whole slate clean, no inheritance, no debt. Everyone is given the same education, everyone is treated 100% equally no matter their identity in any way, shape, or form. Let’s just say that’s the case. Everyone is working the same amount, regardless of their employment position. What is the virtue of a CEO making thousands times more money than the person cleaning the garbage bins. Also, how do you determine who gets what job? This system is set up so that the people who always had power’s offspring stay in power. Occasionally, people are allowed to advance in the system, but for the most part people work their whole lives and never get any further than their parents did, or grandparents, or great-grandparents.
As long as we keep this status quo, we will never get anywhere, because most people are required to stay focused on what is right in front of them. Most people have to live paycheck-to-paycheck, or week-to-week, or day-to-day, some even hour-to-hour, because of the miserable circumstance someone else is profiting off of. I guarantee, not only have people smarter than Einstein lived and died throughout human history, but they have since he has died. We will never know these people, they weren’t born into a situation where their minds were allowed to flourish, allowed to achieve the greatness they absolutely deserved. Only because we have a system which does not normally reward intelligence, hard-work, or any of the other crap we are told it does. Our system rewards the circumstances of your birth. Sometimes it rewards those circumstances more heavily than others, but all the same the way we proceed is completely ludicrous.
If we don’t give everyone an opportunity to express themselves, how can we ever progress? Perhaps, on a long enough time line, but time is looking decidedly compact for humanity at this point. Without a major change, I doubt we can meet the challenges which are going to come upon us much sooner than anyone has predicted. Until we change the way we do things, punishing people for not looking a certain way, praying a certain way, loving a certain way, or whatever division we’ve created for ourselves. Until we give back everything we’ve stolen from all over and truly bring forth a just and equitable society, we are doomed. No doubt about it.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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A very busy Earth Day
And busy it was indeed. March for Science happened. Scientists felt they had to march to protest funding cuts, this is how bad shit is getting. I had to work this morning, then I ran, and run I did. I slowed down a lot the last 4 miles, but I was just tired, having serious trouble focusing, and wasn’t feeling motivation. With no big races on the schedule, I spent most of the run wondering what the hell I was doing. I may stop the semi-regular long runs and just taper for the next time I sign up for a marathon or such. I will have to decide in the next few weeks.
Politics is, of course, pissing me off. Chaffetz, the shithead that investigated Benghazi 8 times, 8 fucking times, yet refuses to investigate Russia’s ties to the US election is announcing he will retire. Now, I want to know why he’s retiring, but I will wait to get evidence, I don’t care for conjecture. Some are saying he took $10 million in laundered money from Russia, some are saying he’s sleeping around on his wife and it’s about to come out that he’s just as big a shitbag as so many of these “family values” fucknuts. It will come out, his supporters won’t care. But this is why people need to get out and vote. There should be huge organizing efforts to get everyone registered, with proper whatever they need in their State, while voter-ID laws, and gerrymandering are being fought in court. You can do more than one thing at a time. Il Douchey (see what I did there?), who most likely committed treason to get where he is, is now whining that the media is still being unfair to him and polls are fake. Because he’s coming up on the end of his first 100 days of occupying an office he doesn’t deserve, and he’s done nothing note-worthy. But the shitheads in the Senate rammed through the fucking joke that is Neil Gorsuch, and he made sure Arkansas was able to murder someone last night who never received due process.
It’s fucking disgusting that the United States still views murdering people as an acceptable punishment. Ignoring the utter hypocrisy of the situation, let’s talk about the fact, not the opinion, the fact that human beings make mistakes. There are, there have been, and there will continue to be innocent people in jails. There are, there have been, there will be innocent people convicted of murders. If you take their lives, guess the fuck what? If we are a country which values voting, and which is governed by the peoples themselves, then each time the State murders someone, you are responsible for it. Let’s not even touch on the disgusting racial element to this, in that you see a clearly inequitable distribution of the administering of the Murder Penalty upon people of color. As with all punishments in our criminal punishment system. It’s hardly just.
Then we should probably mention for four days in a row Russia has violated US Airspace with fucking nuclear capable bombers, and that orange fuckwit has not said a word. So many people need to go fuck themselves at this point. Particularly the guy on the interwebs, on a hardcore band’s website who tried to troll me when I shit on Donnie Pee-Party’s picture of who’s who of who cares, by calling me a “Marxist.” I am in a way, a communist (not a Communist, there’s a difference). But I understand, and have said on many occasions that this world will not be repaired by any of the old ways of thinking, all the old philosophies are necessarily flawed, and will cause undue strife. But let’s just say, for argument’s sake, I was a Marxist, why would I be offended at someone calling me a Marxist? That I know what Marx’s philosophy was, and that I have serious problems with much of it, yet I also understand it’s not inherently evil, or shameful, it’s just horribly flawed because it’s based on “science” and ideas which have been debunked for decades, I still am not shamed, or offended in being called a Marxist. The other possibility, and what this shitbag was going for, was that I was just as uneducated as he was and I didn’t know what Marxism actually is, and just bought all the brainwashing nonsense about it being shameful and evil like “all forms of Communism”. Too bad for him.
But that’s what the “Right” does now. Look at this turd, Alex fucking Jones. This motherfucker has the brass balls to say of his divorce and custody battle, “Respect my family in this time”. Hey, fuckface, you sat on your radio program, and have blasted out on you website about how “Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting was a hoax, a false flag.” Well, it wasn’t. You know how I KNOW this? I am from Connecticut, and (hard to believe) I’m a friendly guy. I know people who had kids in that school. I don’t know anyone who lost a child thankfully, I can only imagine the hell they must be in, seeing the hurt and trouble those who didn’t lose children go through. You have no respect for these people, even if you are “playing a character”. You are profiting off their pain, and you are causing them more pain. Your followers still harass these people, claiming they never had a child, or their child is still alive, all sorts of nonsense. You’re a giant piece of shit. I hope your wife gets EVERYTHING. I hope you NEVER see your children again. I hope you die penniless in a gutter. I always give something to those who need help when I can, but if I saw you on the street, just for this, I would actually spit on you, you disingenuous Nazi shit.
That’s the thing, I don’t care if you’re a true-believer fascist scumbag, or just along for the ride to make a buck. In fact, the ones just out to make a buck like Axle Johnson, Tammy Longreen, or that horrible Alice Cloister are even worse. I really didn’t even understand the real danger until it was too late, and I’m usually pretty good about understanding the dangers in time. I had taken it for granted that those really fascist pricks had taken themselves out of the voting pool and would remain there. Can never make that mistake again for sure. But all this needs to end and it needs to end before 2018. So we really have to start putting pressure on Congress to do their jobs, there are 4, maybe 5 ways this shithead has violated his Oath of Office, and Pence is right there with him. Pretty sure Ryan and McConnell are complicit as well. This fight needs to happen and soon.
It all just makes me angry, I’ve been trying to just keep to myself on it and do what I can, but it really has been eating at me recently. Other things were getting to me today too. The fact that I just don’t do the work I need to do to get myself in better shape for running. I should be doing 15-30 minutes a day of some sort of upper body and core exercises. I really hate it that my last two companions (who the fuck am I, Doctor Who?) have not only been “ok” with the mess that is my upper body, but they have actively tried to keep it the way it is. If I say, “I’m not happy with this, because it is negatively affecting my life, because I do not feel healthy and well with it.” I don’t need to hear that you don’t mind or you think it’s cute or whatever. I need to hear that I was heard, and that I will be supported in my efforts to make a positive change that I have expressed I want to make. I don’t want anyone to feel bad about this, but it was really pissing me off. As long as someone is healthy, it’s not about looks, it’s about if they are happy or not. I am not happy with my upper body. I need to really get focused on that.
Wow, there were lots of bad things in my head today, and I haven’t even touched on all of them. Sometimes you have to let it out though, I think it’s that I have been so intermittent with my long runs, that this stuff has built up inside of me. I truly do hope we can make substantive change before it’s too late, I hope it’s not too late already. But the slower I see things moving the angrier I become. These fucking idiots worrying about their “bottom line” and treating government like a business are just the worst, and are a real danger to our survival. People who deny racism, who deny misogyny, who deny bigotry, those who only concern themselves with profit and domination, these people are the problem. They need to be stopped, and we are definitely running out of time.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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What’s with this weather?
Seriously, it’s like Spring in New England here for some reason. It was cold this morning, and super windy again, but I got my 5 miles in. Didn’t have my phone with me, because it was loading up music. As my headphone connector I ordered came in, and my USB-c to USB connector. As well as my Bluetooth speaker, which for a €40 speaker is amazing. A little heavy on the bass, but in a big room it should sound great. I’ll write up a full review after I run it through a whole cycle, hit all different situations.
Meanwhile, last night had a really bad nightmare, and I think it’d worth sharing with everyone. I usually ignore my nightmares, I have them so frequently. But I actually think this one is worth analyzing. It was fairly troubling for me, and unlike most of my nightmares ended with my death, I think. At the very least, the thought that I could not possibly survive what had happened. For those who don’t know, my dreams are always very vivid, and fairly scary most of the time, very infrequently are they sexual in nature, or even anything nice. Although, I find living in Italy the more nightmarish aspects have gone to the wayside most of the time. But let’s get into this one particular one.
So it starts nice enough, a friend of mine from elementary school and I are walking through the streets of our city. We are having a conversation about all manner of social justice issues. My friend and I, in reality and in the dream, are in almost perfect agreement in a wide range of issues. So far, so good, perfectly pleasant right?
As we get to the main intersection in the downtown area, a van pulls up in front of us, blocking traffic in all directions and a European male jumps out with a bomb vest on and an automatic weapon, starts screaming about how everyone better freeze where they are and shut up and listen to him. Obviously, the scene is chaos at this point, and eventually he gets the crowd under control. My friend and I, being on the opposite side of the van, decide it is a good idea to crouch behind the engine as it should probably protect us from any shrapnel when this guy decides to blow himself up.
He starts his manifesto, and we’re listening to thus nonsense, and he starts changing into all these different ethnicities as he’s going, but the speech never changes, it stays the same. He keeps cycling through as he talks about all this conspiracy theory nonsense about Rothschilds and chemtrails and vaccines, and all this other shit, and it’s shit.
At some point my friend decides she has to get to the other side of the street. Not to stop him, just needs to cross the street. I tell her I’ll stay behind the van, and I think it’s a bad idea that she try, but not to worry, I’ll get her back if anything happens. So as soon as she appears he flips out and tackles her.
I of course come out to save my friend and she had this strange taser-like device she’s using on him and wrestles the gun he has away from him and keeps zapping as I’m running in to restrain him. Just as I’m about to get there, she stops, looks at me and smiles this really evil grin, and he looks at me with the same look (at this point he looks like Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks) and pulls a handgun from his vest and empties the damned clip into my chest and stomach.
Now, I said I dream vividly, and there was real pain there. As I write it, I feel ghost pain again honestly, it hurt. Having never been shot, I’m sure it doesn’t compare, but there was a searing, sharp pain where I dreamt the bullets struck me. As hard as I tried to reach for the weapon, I couldn’t, the pain stopped me. And as I thought to myself, “there’s no way I can live through this.” I hear them laugh and I wake up.
As far as “mighty morphin’ terrorist” goes I think that’s just my mind reminding me that all terrorists, no matter where they’re from, or what their experience, or background, where they’re born, what their religion is, are all the same. They all believe themselves just, righteous patriots hell-bent on making things the way they believe it should be, without regard, or care for anyone or anything else. A very imperialistic world view.
The whole thing seems pretty straightforward to me honestly. I don’t mean to hurt or alienate any of my friends. I don’t wish anyone take this personally, but the other part, my friend apparently betraying me; I think that is a manifestation of the fear I have that when it comes down to it in the end, everyone has a price. It’s paranoia. It scares me, I am aware of it. I don’t let it control me, but it is there. I have no reason to have it. Every time the situation has been really dire, I’ve always been able to count on certain people. Sure, some people have abandoned me in times of great need. But my real friends are always there just like they know I’m there for them. No matter what though, I can never rid myself of this fear.
As I said, no one should take that personally, I’m not “vague-booking” (would it be “vague-blogging”) anyone here. I’m not calling anyone out. I’m saying I struggle from time to time with these feelings, and I think this is where this particular nightmare stems from.
I often worry about mental illness. I’m not psychiatrist or psychologist, but I have seen enough family members struggle so mightily with daily life. I see people on the street yelling at imaginary beasts and imaginary people and think about how easily that could be me,or someone I know. I constantly am looking at what I’m thinking and acting and questioning if I am exhibiting any symptoms I need to worry about. Most of the time, I’m happy to report that no, I don’t feel I should be worried.
What is all this good for? I keep myself reminded that if I feel I need help, or if others express real concern and suggest I need help, that I will seek it. I will not ignore it, or be too complacent with the idea nothing is wrong, or think I can handle it. I say that now, but I wonder if I were really having a problem, would I be able to recognize it? The good news is, I don’t feel a stigma in talking about these things. I don’t allow vanity, pride, fear or whatever get in the way of saying that there is nothing wrong with seeking help with any illness.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Catching up
Yes, I took it a little too easy over the weekend and didn’t write! But I will make up for it today. I did run exactly on the schedule I planned. Giving me Sunday and Monday off. I got my miles in on Saturday, Tuesday, and this morning. This morning, I didn’t bother to pace myself, because it was the second day of running in the rain, and the first day I had to be ready for work. So with a time limit I just let myself run as I was comfortable, instead of trying to hold back. Mind you, I kept pretty well to my forced pace on Tuesday morning, in spite of getting hailed on for the last km.
Except for the weather the running has been easy. It’s difficult to keep spirits up when it’s days on end of bad weather. Getting pelted by dime-sized hail for 1/2 a mile yesterday was no treat either. There was no hail in the forecast, I just kept my head down, eyes protected and did the best I could. Other than that, things are pretty much on auto-pilot today coming out of the long weekend. Next week, I have Monday and Tuesday off again. We celebrate kicking the Nazis out on April 25th, and in Italy when a holiday lands on a Tuesday, they give us Monday off. Same way with a holiday on a Thursday, we would get Friday off. Then May Day is coming up, three weekends in a row with at least an extra day.
Meanwhile a song came up on my mp3 player, and I listen to the song all the time, but I never sing along to it, because it uses words I can’t use. Because we have words in our language specifically designed to oppress people. It’s not just that this word was used and then they decided to use it for the express purpose of making people feel inferior, or seem inferior. It was created, designed, specifically for that purpose. I’ve said this many times, if you’re unsure if you should, or could use a word, then don’t use it. If you’ve been told that it’s offensive and you shouldn’t use it, then don’t use it. There’s no gray area here. There’s no “passes”, just don’t say it. Can’t be much simpler than that, comes up in a song you like, don’t sing along. Don’t care if you’re all alone, don’t do it, censor yourself, show some humility. You will learn from the experience. Sometimes, sitting in silence, no matter what, and just listening to the world around us is the most instructive thing we can do. Being humble, policing yourself, choosing to keep your mind open and your mouth closed is very beneficial.
It is very difficult sometimes, we are trained to defend our ideas, our positions, our beliefs. Frankly, if your ideas, positions, and/or beliefs are worth a damn, then they don’t need defending. If someone questions you on these and you can’t mount a proper defense, then perhaps you need to look at why you can’t, not that you’ve been called out for trying to hold onto an indefensible position. You can look at it in a very literal sense to get the lesson in the figurative sense. Look at the Battle of Thermopylae. The Spartans (there were also Athenians, etc. there) commanding the army took the best DEFENSIBLE position in the pass, and held off the entire Syrian army simply because they could defend their position. It was true that the way around was unknown to the invaders, until someone betrayed the Spartans. It was true that the terrain made it so that a small, capable fighting force could withstand the attack of a much larger army. The way in which the Syrians continued their attack was indefensible. When their navy was defeated then their continued attack was indefensible. They could not sustain what they were doing, they were defeated. When you can’t counter, when your ideas and beliefs cannot be defended, then they must be changed or abandoned. You must humbly accept that you were wrong. It’s ok to be wrong.
This is the value of taking time to listen, instead of always talking. Learn when you are right and when you are wrong, and then just shut up and learn. So much of this life, so much suffering, and strain, and hurt comes from people just not being willing to admit that they’re wrong, or they don’t know everything. I had this discussion tonight, in a very limited way, with my starter students in a local middle school. I asked them to count how many students were in the room. When they said ten, I corrected them and told them there were 12 (me and their regular teacher). I told them, “I don’t know everything, neither does your daily teacher. There’s always a chance for us to learn something new.” Did it help quiet them down, not so much, they are only like 11 years old. Oh well.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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It was a Good Friday, indeed!
I tried for 9 min/mi again, it did not work out. In fact, I was faster today. Not by much, but it’s ok. I think it was mainly due to the heat. I was sweating a lot and did not bring water with me. So I think I just wanted it over with. My arms started cramping; not my legs, my arms. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been completely drenched after a run. But overall, it was good, I worked hard to focus on my form and only toward the end did I really notice some bad things. Turning my arms in definitely being one of my major flaws. So all in all, not bad.
The rest of the day has been spent cleaning, shopping, cooking, and even a little work. I’m trying to get things caught up and set for the big push toward the end of the school year here. It will all be over before I know it, and I want to make sure it’s as smooth and stress-free as possible, so taking a couple hours today to take care of some things was a good idea.
Meanwhile, there is one severe drawback to having skin like mine and running long distances in the beautiful, and intense Sun here: my sock and singlet tan-lines are out of control. The rest of the weekend forecast is saying overcast and maybe even rain or thunderstorms on Sunday. It looks like next weekend I will have to take charge of this situation. I’m not too much interested in my looks at all, but I mean this is ridiculous. Shame on me, and drag if you must it’s ok.
But today was definitely a relaxing day, and you need those every now and then. If we don’t relax and enjoy, as messed up as this world is. As Donnie and company are looking to start, literally, World War 3, and all this other mess that’s happening. Corporate bullies treating people like trash. Racist and fascist shitbags spouting their fecal matter all over society, as fucked up as all this is; we all have to take some time for ourselves and enjoy what little we can. Today was definitely that day, to just enjoy what I could. If you’re not smiling at the things you can smile at, then what’s the point of being pissed off about all the bullshit? If you can’t enjoy those little parts, then there’s no sense in any of this.
Just like Orange shit-boy there, spending more on the military, bombing the shit out of things with millions upon millions of dollars of ordinance, yet telling us we can’t do the very basic things to make our own area of the world as nice as possible. In fact, telling us we need to pollute it and make it a mess, and forget educating people, or doing anything good, or kind, or nice. What’s the point in all the military mess if we don’t have anything nice at all? I mean, I think we can have very nice things without any military at all, but that’s besides the point. It’s really useless if you have nothing worth “defending” in the first place.
I don’t understand how so many people miss this. Life should absolutely be an enjoyable experience, regardless of where you are born, or how you are born, what you look like, who you love, how you dress. We should be allowed to enjoy our lives. Anyone and anything which is hindering our enjoyment, which is not injuring others, is wrong. I’m not saying there isn’t pain in life, and there isn’t bullshit. Bad shit is going to happen. People will get sick and die, natural disasters will devastate areas, the world itself is completely neutral. It neither desires your survival, nor your death, it merely goes about its business. At the end, entropy requires your destruction, but that’s ok. So there will always be pain and some discomfort. My issue is with human beings intentionally adding to one another’s pile of bullshit. I don’t understand that at all. All anyone need do is stop being a fucking jackass. That simple. Yet we applaud jackasses, we watch them on TV and love them, and give them million dollar endorsement deals (the “Cash me ousside girl”) and let them steal the presidency. Yeah I said it, stolen.
So I had a good day today, but still, fuck your economy, fuck your competition, fuck your advertising. Fuck your centuries old ideas and the rotten shit that springs from them. Leave your arrogance and your ignorance aside, stop being offended when people say this shit is broken and needs to be fixed. When someone says they are being hurt by your bullshit, just shut up and listen to them. Don’t get all sore because you’re being called out. Learn something. Check your ego at the door, you’re nothing special, none of us are. I am no better than the very worst person to ever walk the Earth, and I am no worse than the very best. We all have our shit, and we need to leave it behind when we deal with others, and treat everyone like they were…you know…human. Just saying, maybe we should give that a try, given that what we’ve been trying for the last few hundred years hasn’t been working. Even though we keep repackaging it into something slightly more palatable, it still seems to fail miserably. So maybe, actually changing is the way to go? Just a thought.
But in the meantime, I am going to enjoy what I can, and I can only hope for more wonderful days like this. It was an amazing day on so many levels.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Gotta Catch Up!
It is Easter Break here! So I only worked three days this week, but it was a crazy three days, trying to wrap up paperwork and whatnot during that time. I did get my running done, well I did well on Tuesday, ran short Wednesday, but totally made up for it today. I was shooting for a steady pace today, slow and steady, 9 min/mi. I was a little faster than that, which I’m not wholly pleased about, but only 6 seconds per mile off, so I’ll take it. I don’t feel completely exhausted either, like I have been feeling for a couple weeks now.
given that it’s a holiday weekend, I am going to try and front-load my workouts and take it easy on Sunday and Monday. I’m actually well ahead of where I want, or need, to be with miles this month and I may consider rearranging my training schedule due to this. Meanwhile, I need to look into a race one of my students told me about coming up at the end of May, and it’s time to start planning races for when I’m in the US this Summer. Definitely going to run the Branford Road Race, which I missed last year. Also, Labor Day I will run the New Haven Road Race, but only the 20k. Don’t even know if they’re doing the half marathon this year, but it seems silly to me, why bother with the one extra kilometer? Traditionally it’s a 20k, and that’s that. Then Gulf Beach is hopefully in the cards for me as well. Depending on what I come up with for a job situation, the Self-Transcendence Marathon may be in the mix as well.
Spring has definitely sprung here. The grape vines were growing, green leaves glistening in the Sun on my run today. The German tourists were parading past my apartment this afternoon. There’s a special irony to a bunch of old Germans parading down my street to see the oldest synagogue in Italy. But it’s also Easter weekend, so there are all manner of tourists in town, because up and down the entire region, it is universally understood that Trani hosts the best Easter celebration. Ah, all night Stations of the Cross.
They really parade through the streets, priests, monks, penitents, it’s wild. And I was telling my class how funny it is to see real Capuchin Monks and think about how that’s where the drink, cappuccino, comes from. One of my students, was unaware that the two were related, I got so excited. One of my weird facts actually educated someone! So that was a lot of fun. Then we talked environment. They didn’t understand why they are always asked to talk about the environment during the speaking portion of their English exams. I explained that it was because it is an important issue, and therefore they figure everyone will learn and be able to talk about it. I also explained to them why it’s important, and about how we’re in the 6th major extinction event in Earth’s history, and how it’s most likely our fault this time.
Which is another thing, because I was talking about this the other day, you all remember. Then one of the bookfaces pages I follow posted a piece about how we need to stop factory cattle farming because it’s making wild horses in North America go extinct. So I mention that horses don’t belong in the Americas anyway, and people got all sorts of offended by this and called me stupid, and mentioned that the horse evolved originally in America, and all this nonsense. Yes, but it went extinct and other creatures took its place, and then when it was reintroduced it drove those species out and damaged the biodiversity. It is an invasive species, and I get that people love horses and whatnot, that doesn’t make them any less damaging. It’s amazing how people simply ignore reality over their feelings. There are times for that, but not when it comes to the environment. This is the problem we have. Everyone watches nature shows and feels bad for the little deer, or bison, or springbok, or whatever is getting hunted. I won’t lie, I hope they all escape too.
But here’s the thing, many people would actively interfere if they could, because how dare that predator kill the cute whatever. The predator needs to eat too. Lions can’t eat tofu. We can, they can’t. Some creatures are specifically required to eat others, and that’s the way it goes. We can’t let our feelings on the matter get in the way. Just like I’ve been seeing people sharing an article about Taiwan banning the use of dogs and cats as meat. Why? Because they’re your pets? For other people they’re food. What puts the dog or cat on a pedestal above cows, chickens, pigs, or any other animal. This selective care for things is most of the problem in the world. Like so many vegans and vegetarians only caring for animal rights, and completely erasing the horrors of human rights violations toward people of color for centuries in their fervor to “prove” that the plight of animals deserves equal footing in the pantheon of bad shit we humans do. Yes, we need to demand better treatment for animals, but as I discussed last week it is a different argument.
It’s so weird how the things I post end up showing up in other ways a little after I post them. It happens often to me. As I don’t believe in supernatural phenomena, I don’t claim some pseudo-scientific prescience. However, I think I see patterns and I see the way things come together well. I think it gives me a way to take good educated guesses as to what is coming. I think I put puzzles together well, basically. Not saying that gives me any special say, just saying I tend to somehow have a good grasp on what is going to trend, even though I keep a healthy distance from, well, most all pop-culture and things like that.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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Happy Palm Runday!
OK, today I definitely re-injured my foot, that was most likely dumb, but it will get better. I took it easy the last half mile, I only wanted to do 8:30s today, and again I was fast. I really do need to slow down. That it’s a sunny holiday, there were tons of people walking the port this morning, and I was forced to weave in and out of them and make quick cuts and turns as people stepped out in front of me. That’s probably how I injured my toe, or re-injured. Well, hopefully it will be better soon. It is getting annoying and a little depressing.
But it’s Sunday, I have a few things to clean up, some laundry to do, some food to cook. Not much to do today, and I really do need to relax. next week I get even more time, as I don’t work Thursday-Tuesday. Italy does not have an official religion, but let’s face it, this is a Catholic country. As much as it is a country, I mean the idea of “Italy” is pretty much a lie. The North came together easily enough, then they forced the Kingdom of Two Sicilies to join and robbed them. They had been robbing the South for generations as much as they could anyway.
That doesn’t mean the Kingdom of Napoli, or the Kingdom of Sicily, nor the Kingdom of Two Sicilies were perfect. The fact is, all of European history has had a competitive economy. They’ve called it different things; feudalism, capitalism, even today with the EU it is a competitive economy. They’ve traveled the world and forced a competitive economy on the rest of the world and then claimed it as it was the rest of the world’s choice. Will we reach the breaking point of competitive economies and switch to collaborative processes in enough time to halt the next great extinction event, which it seems we are part of right now?
That is what we are up against. The Holocene Extinction, and we are the cause. For those who don’t know the current period of geologic history is called the Holocene. Do we survive it? Maybe, maybe not, but the fact we’re causing it can’t bode well. More than that, why do we think this is ok, even if we do survive? Competitive economy. But it’s not ok, but after hundreds and hundreds of generations, it feels like the normal, natural thing. It’s not, it just feels that way. We are conditioned to believe it to be natural, but when you look around the world you find examples of collaborative economies as the norm, until forced into competition by colonialism. So who needs to change then? If competition is what causes the colonization, which brings the over-farming, over-fishing, over-hunting, over-killing, over-use, racism, sexism, jingoism, bigotry, caste-systems, religious antagonism which are all part of the cause of the over-arching problem (the Holocene Extinction), then clearly we have to move away from competition. We have to get back to a natural, collaborative experience. We have to listen to what science tells us on stopping the use of the things which are causing this.
There is the possibility, and prepare yourself, that we are already too late. It is possible that we have pushed things too far and have already signed our own, and most of the species on the planet’s, death warrant. Think about that, no matter what bullshit the world of humans has put on you, it’s entirely possible we’re already on a dead planet. It’s possible we are merely the last few synaptic impulses, we are the proverbial chicken running and kicking with its head already cut off. Which means all these grand works insecure peoples are building as testament to their greatness are meaningless. As the article I posted above states, it takes the Earth on the order of several million years to recover its biodiversity after a major extinction event. Even if another sentient species were to evolve, a discoverer, explorer on the order of homo sapiens, there would be nothing noteworthy from our time here for them to discover. We’re not like the dinosaurs, who had 65 million years to leave traces. We’ve been around for 200,000 years, we’ve had the ability to record our deeds for about 5,000 of those years. Think about that, 195,000 years of human history with no written record. We’ve only started the processes of domination which have brought about the conditions causing this extinct event about 500 years ago. That is when we started exploring, started dropping pigs, and chickens, and rats, and horses places where they didn’t belong. Speaking of which, you realize the horse was extinct on the American continent until the Conquistadors let some of their horses go. All wild horses in the Americas descend from horses the Conquistadors brought with them.
In 0.25% of our time on this planet we have managed to begin the next great extinction event. A species which has existed for only 0.0033% of the entire existence of the planet, has created an extinct event in just a quarter of a percent of the time they have even existed.
But then let’s look at the mechanics of what happened, I mean I just mentioned the Conquistadors, they called themselves “The Conquerors”, no shit. What were they conquering? What great enemy did they have? Folks who didn’t have half the technology, and no competitive economy? Wow. But really, what they were conquering was the very thing they were claiming they were fighting for. Follow me here: Let’s say the European settlers and conquerors of the Americans, Pacific Islands, etc., were really spreading “God’s Love”. So if God is in everything and everyone and is all, then God certainly is the Earth, as much as God is a person, or an animal, or the Sun, or anything else in nature. So if you’re “conquering” nature, are you not by default conquering God? But, as much as homo sapiens claims religiosity, the fact is that it’s always been a competition to make themselves gods. That’s always been the thing. They want to last forever, because we know we will die. Kind of ironic in man’s quest for immortality we’re going to end up wiping out any trace we ever existed. Unless of course we all change the way we are doing things, and find a way to mitigate the damage already done, and survive the Holocene Extinction. The only way we can do that, is to drop all this competitive nonsense and come together. I have news for you, the conquered people aren’t the ones who need to change, they’re not the ones that need to come on board to the competitive way, if the competitive way is the way of destruction. The European way needs to end, and the only way that happens is if Europeans and their descendants in other lands, stop trying to control everything and oppress others. That is the first step, there are more steps after that, and we are really short on time. So people need to get off their asses and start to make it happen yesterday.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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What a Day!
Seriously, just wonderful weather, great classes this morning. I ended up going much faster than I intended, and in the end I’m in a little bit of discomfort because of it. But today was just fantastic, so clear I could see all the way to the Gargano Peninsula (The “Spur” of the boot)! But, between the coffee and the poor hydration this morning, the warm weather and speed, I’m just drinking tons of water right now because I feel like Alien is boring its way through my gut right now. But I also finally figured out how to change the playlist order on my mp3 player. Since I did not end up getting a proper Sony Walkman replacement yet, due to inventory issues. So the one that I have is cheap and pretty crappy. But for the first time in a month I heard different songs! Ah, that was nice.
So, I’ve been tracking my miles as usual on my Garmin, but I’ve also been using Charity Miles recently. But sometimes it gets messed up and doesn’t record for some reason, and you can’t add from a fitness watch or anything, because the whole way Charity Miles works is they put an advertisement on your phone and the company is paying Charity Miles for that ad you “see” and part of that money goes to the charity you select. But I don’t look at the damned ad anyway, I don’t care what company is sponsoring me, they have plenty of money to give, I do not. I will buy their products if I need them, not because they are paying for ad space, and some of that money goes to a worthy cause. So that’s 10 miles the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society won’t be getting today. I used to raise for the MS Society, and will again in the future surely. However, currently one of the members of my running club was diagnosed and subsequently fought and is now in remission of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. For support, a large portion of the running club has been running with the Charity Miles app. Any of you who follow my personal FB page have noticed I’ve been posting from the app with the tag #M4M, that’s where that comes from, Miles for Melissa is what we’re doing.
This brings me to today’s point. I don’t do any of this to get a pat on the back. I don’t do what I do so people think I’m a nice person. I do what I do, because it’s the right thing to do. It’s the right thing to try and stop unnecessary human impact on the environment. To stop human beings from dehumanizing other humans for their own purposes in the forms of racism, sexism, religious, or gender bigotry, ableism, or any of the other bullshit we do. It’s right to try and get people to look at animals as our evolutionary cousins, and that they should be treated with some dignity and respect, and we should learn to live with them, instead of trying to force them to live within our structures which they do not understand. To encourage humans to do what we are meant to do, the only purpose we have, to look in our ourselves, as an extension of the Universe, and explore it all, and figure it out, to discover, not to conquer. It is right to demand peace, to demand a death of fascism, to demand we move on from the old ways and the old philosophies, and the hatred, and start to realize a better world. Not for me, not so I am held as some hero, shit forget me. This is just about doing what’s right. Personal story-time:
This year one of my grandmother’s older sisters, in fact her last older sister, died. Aunt Helen (as we called her, her name was Elena) was 102 years-old. Aunt Helen’s husband, Uncle Tony, had died years earlier, somewhere in his mid-90s. Well, they never had children. Without sharing the gory details, while Uncle Tony was a generous man to family and friends, he was a womanizer, and that caught up with him early in life. Anyway, the nieces and nephews that were in the area would help out. Get Aunt Helen to the store, just come over and say “Hi”, take them places, it was like we were all their children and grandchildren in a way. I’m pretty sure almost all the men in the family ended up working with Uncle Tony in his carpentry business at some point in our lives.
But everyone pitched in to help out when we could. Usually I would cut the lawn, rake the leaves, clean up the outdoors, things like that. After my grandfather could no longer go and help them with plumbing issues, the job usually fell to me, unless it was something that I simply could not do. Then when I started working with Uncle Tony I would start fixing other things around the house Uncle Tony couldn’t do anymore, siding the garage, fixing window casing and things like that. They would always hand me, and everyone else money for doing these things. None of us (to my knowledge) did any of these things for the money, or so anyone else would talk about how good we were, we did these things because they were the right thing to do.
If you’re doing things because of the money, or because of the praise and accolades, because you want a pat on the back, then you’re doing them for the wrong reasons. Yes, even your damned job. Life is not supposed to be one long transaction, it’s just supposed to be action, and discovery. You should do the right thing in the hope that one day, if everyone is figuring out that doing the right thing is the way to go, this world won’t suck as much as it does. Lead by example. Yeah, when people are being really shit and need to change their ways, I call them the hell out. But still, it’s up to them to “come to Jesus,” to “bring the mountain to Mohammed.” They have to do the work, they have to make the decision to change their ways. I’ve changed over the years surely. I’m always looking to correct wrong ideas of my own, to improve myself, and the impact I make on this world. I can only be a voice of guidance (I hope) if I’m living up to the standards I’m setting. You see it all the time now in International relations, Country A admonishes Country B; Country B says “Right, but look at the horrible shit Country A does.” Usually Country A is the US now, good job on never changing foreign policy over decades regardless of administration idiots. But, my point is, if you’re a hypocrite there is almost zero chance anyone will listen to you. If you do your best, even if you slip up, make mistakes then it is ok. We are all going to make mistakes at times, and we have to take our lumps and move on. You can’t get all shitty and defensive about it, admit your mistake and move on.
But that’s that, if you’re doing what you’re doing for the wrong reasons, you will fail. If you are being a hypocrite you will get found out. Be true to yourself, fight for what’s right. Keep looking to improve and when you mess up and someone calls you on it, take a minute and take a step back and look at yourself, and see if you can make it better. If you can’t then so be it, if you can, then be willing to change, have some damned humility. Humility is the greatest lesson in this world. I think that’s why so very many of the runners I meet are such decent people (there are always exceptions though); because this endeavor is so humbling. Pushing your body as far as so many of us do really does have an amazing effect of keeping you grounded, because as great as so many of us feel at the end of our runs, there is so much during each one of our runs that are right on the edge of disaster. Sometimes, disaster does strike too. I’ve seen leaders of races collapses. I’ve passed Elite runners sitting on the side of the road, I’ve had to move to the side of the road to let ambulances past to get to fallen runners ahead. We’ve all read headlines of runners (and some of us knew runners) struck by cars and killed or maimed. I myself was struck by a car, with no ill-effects (amazing). Weather, wind, wild animals, so much can go wrong externally, and internally. We all love my gastric distress stories, I know!
Humility, that’s the key, be humble, and get involved. That’s what we need to do. If you’re having trouble with that humility, start running, you’ll learn it soon enough. Oh, other good practice I’ve been working on. If you comment online, or someone comments on something you said, say what you need to, but if it’s not an argument, just let your friend have the last word. Even if you have something clever, or fun or whatever to follow with, let them have the last word.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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