Gil Can Run!A blog on Running and all the crap that runs through my head while doing it

Nov 13th Still sucks

Got myself to run. Still not fucking around. Pretty sure I finish what I need to do this winter, maybe have to come back for some paperwork in July or August, and that’s it. Unreal.

Nov 12th Nothing good still

Ran. Having fucking anxiety attacks while running because America is about to have an actual fascist in power, thanks to a system created to keep slavery as a way of life. Fuck it.

Nov 11th Don’t want platitudes

Didn’t run, still at a loss. People don’t get why I’m upset, this isn’t about me.

Read this, it’s an NPR story about climate science and about how after 35 years the Hansen temperature model is still standing. Anthropogenic climate change is reality, and the stupid fucking American racist, fascist shits just elected a full government that will continue to ignore this and continue to push us to or perhaps past the point of no return. Anyone thinking we should be docile about this is a complete fucking idiot. All your bullshit that you whine about, all of it will be completely meaningless on a planet incapable of sustaining human life. Your precious penis replacement guns, equal rights, justice, equality, money, whatever the fuck you think is so fucking important to you means nothing if we can’t breathe the air, grow food and drink water. Fucking morons, all of you. Not just selfish conservative morally bankrupt, mentally inept fucking pricks. But all the liberals out there who didn’t bother because “waaaaa Bernie, waaaaa she supports bombing people, she won’t reign in the police. ” well, she would have at least upheld Paris, which may not be enough, but at least it was something.

Selfish fucking idiots. I don’t know how else to try, because I tried to be smart and nice about it. But so many people are so far up their own ass about life, it seems the only people they pay attention to are rude assholes. Yet only when those rude assholes apparently reaffirm their own head-up-thier-ass idiocy.

Science is real, money is fake, good luck breathing money, eating money and drinking money. Glad you don’t want to pay for it. Tell me more about how much you love your children, because you sure as fuck don’t act like it.

Nov 10th Lost

Still, nothing to say. Ran, it was uncomfortable.

At a crossroads in your life
At a point to make a decision
Do you play the game for monetary gain
Or do you follow a code of ethics
Having to deal with some
With the charm of a snake that speaks
With a forked tongue
They’ll keep a casual bond to use you later on
Disconnect yourself and get away
Burn your bridges and don’t look back

Burn ’em down, Burn ’em down, Burn ’em down,
Gotta burn it

They don’t know what it means
Cause all they understand is their greed
They’ll never know rewards of the soul
And something to set yourself free
Think of moral wealth
You’re the one who’s got to live with yourself
You can’t hide from the ties that bind
You’ve got to burn those bridges
And break those ties
Burn those bridges and break those ties

Burn ’em down, Burn ’em down, Burn ’em down,
You’re the one who’s got to live with yourself,
You’ve got to
Burn ’em down, Burn ’em down, Burn ’em down,
Gotta burn it

The problem will arise you’ve got to look deep down inside
You’re the one’s who’s got to live with yourself
So can you smile for a price
Will you stay with those who will only
Drag you down, or do you cut the ties
Stand up for yourself and
Hold your moral ground
Do you stand with those who will only rip you off
Or do you strike the match and don’t look back and let ’em
Burn, let ’em burn, burn ’em down

BURN ‘EM DOWN, BURN ‘EM DOWN
You’re the one who’s got to live with yourself
You’ve got to
Burn ’em down, Burn ’em down, Burn ’em down,
Gotta burn it

Nov 9th I’m not going to run today

And I’m not going to post today, and maybe not tomorrow. I have lots of things to figure out. I can’t even find words to express how I feel. All the joy and humor I had is now gone.

Nov 8th Today is starting well

I got out and ran a pretty decent pace on the usual course. Not as good as I did last week, but it’s a bit wet this morning after some overnight rain, and so I had to mince a bit on the stone streets and could only really open up on pavement. Plus, I didn’t want to aggravate the foot injury. But it is healing, I’ve found if I wear my man-dals during the day when I’m not at work it helps. I don’t know why. I think it’s because they force me to heel strike, taking some pressure off the balls of my feet.
So today is the day, USA. Listen, just go vote, don’t care who you’re voting for. Although, nobody at all took me up on my request to give me one actual, factual, good reason to vote FOR Drumpf. Not a single soul among you. It amazes me considering how much pro-Drumpf stuff I’ve seen. But just for fun, let’s expand it today. Anyone who wants, give me a real reason, which is not legalizing marijuana, that you want to vote for your candidate. Explain to me why it is ethical, why it is moral, why it is practical, why it will work. Tell me what the plan is, and how it will be implemented. Wow me. Show me that you have a good grasp of the issues and you have thought about this, and have made sure your conscience is in line with how you are voting, or why you aren’t voting even. Explain to me the virtues, if you prefer, of not voting at all. Give me reasons why your philosophy makes a positive difference.
That’s what I do here, I share my thoughts, my philosophy, my ideas, and give you reasons why I think they are positive, why they help people other than myself. But no one ever shares with me, if you agree or disagree, in general, I don’t get much feedback. I want to know. Yes, I am anti-Trump, and I’ve explained that my agenda, the things I want to see happen, definitely dies under a Trump presidency, and there is hope that some things will remain under a Clinton Presidency. Yes I made it about me. I do agree with Clinton on things, like changing the ACA (Obamacare) and improving it, I want to see universal coverage, or as some say now Medicare expansion. Which is simple. I want to see tuition-free public college for families making under $125,000/yr. I want to see things like that and more. It’s a good start, things that can be built on in the future to make the country a better place. I want a candidate who acknowledges that climate change is a real, man-made phenomenon, and that we must start taking real steps toward addressing the issue. That’s not far enough for me, I know we need immediate, drastic action, but hopefully, incremental steps will be enough. I want a candidate that recognizes that not all pregnancies are meant to be carried full-term, that sometimes bad shit happens to people, and women should be allowed to decide what happens within their own bodies. I want everybody to be able to walk down the street without fear of being targeted because of what they look like, how they worship (if they do), or who they love. Politicians can’t actually fix all these things, but at least if they’re standing up for them, setting an example, it might help others change their minds.
Anyway, go out and vote today, and ask yourself if you’re putting your interests first, ask if you can think of your fellow human beings as your equals, and if the political ideology you are supporting can allow you to both see your fellow human beings as your brothers and sisters, as equals, and still you can sleep soundly at night with the decisions that will get made for others. Because in the end, the government we are left with isn’t about you, it’s about everyone. It touches every part of life, not just yours. So go and vote, do what you must. But remember, it’s not about just you, and everyone else is just as special, and worthy as you are.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

Nov 7th A Bright, Sun-shiny Day

Nope, not singing the song, but it’s a nice day, seriously. Almost time for me to run off to work. The hardest thing about the last few days has been fighting off the boredom. Being bored is not cool when there’s so much to discover in this world. But when you lack motivation it can be tough. Well, more than lacking motivation, it’s lacking patience.
But I’ve been watching downloaded shows and stuff like that. I should catch up on my reading. Meanwhile, tomorrow also looms large on the horizon. I called Fascism for the US within my lifetime. Will Drumpf get us all the way there? I think there are enough to oppose him, but he has certainly hurried us along on this path, emboldened those who would want to see this. People in Trump shirts proclaiming “tree, rope, journalist, any questions?” or some such nonsense. I would have to look at the picture again. But do they not get, that is actual tyrrany and terrorism? And the corporate takeover of everything (Trump just put out a plan to privatize roads and bridges, WORST IDEA EVER!), is actually fascism. So, there we have that.
Hopefully, tomorrow good sense wins out. Even if Clinton is just barely on the liberal side of the political mainstream, I’d rather have 4 more years of normal, than 4 years of God knows what. The policies are bad, and the way he goes about garnering support is worse. You can’t run campaigns like this, you really can’t, I realize the news organizations make a ton of money this way, but it is completely dysfunctional for a democracy. Capitalism is dysfunctional for a democracy, actually. If the motivation of all things is profit, then the greater good will always be overlooked, for profit. In a democracy, you sometimes must compromise whatever, for the greater good, so if you can’t compromise profit, then no good will happen, and democracy will break down. This is actually what is happening right now in the US.
Well anyway, now that we’re firmly in November, and the election is almost over, time to turn our sights on Thanksgiving, so I leave you this, because it’s hilarious and I agree with it:

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

Nov 6th Taking things head on

That’s what I did today. When I woke up my foot actually didn’t hurt, didn’t even hurt to walk on it, but mid-way through the run I started feeling it again. I didn’t use it as an excuse, I didn’t let it slow me down, and I didn’t shorten my run. Either something will break (physically or mentally and I’ll have to rest) or it will heal. Overall, I’m completely pleased with my effort today.
I must confess, most of my thoughts still revolve around Monday and how disturbing the whole situation was for me. It’s very difficult for me to cope with being called a liar over and over and over again, particularly since anyone who knows me knows I’m honest to a fault. I’m honest to the point I don’t spare people’s feelings. The really hard thing is, I think it damaged my trust in people. Even though things like that have been temporary in the past, I don’t like it. I don’t like people trying to change me, and I don’t like it when they succeed, even temporarily.
The way I see it at this point, it either was a narcissistic need for power, for control, and a way of eroding my confidence and my self-worth. Or it was a complete lack of trust in me as a decent human being or it was a complete lack of valuing oneself, and thinking they had nothing to offer and they had no worth, so I should be brought down to feel as low. None of those things are a sign of love. When you love someone, you don’t try to control and change them, you trust them, and believe in them, and you trust yourself and believe in yourself. Even after talking to the last person they accused me of cheating with, the person claims I cheated. Even though any casual observer knows that to be completely false. I’m not going to let it get to me, I will heal and I will move on from this, in my usual time. I am awkward in my personal relations with people. It happens, there are certainly things I could have done better. I could have stayed more patient during the crazy,machine-gunned, repeated questions and accusations. But I’m not patient with those things, and regardless of how anyone viewed what was said, they were accusations.
I fight on, I will get up off the mat, and I will get back in it. I think I just wished I had the turn-around with matters of the heart as I do with running. I’m much more protective of it than I am with the rest of my body. This is also why I don’t mention names on here unless I need to. Not just to protect what little privacy I want, but to protect anyone I talk about, even if I’m angry with them, even if I don’t ever want to see them again, no matter how badly they hurt me. I also work to keep things as gender neutral as possible, so that people can imagine whatever situation they are comfortable in. Because how can I relate to everyone, if my language is necessarily exclusive of segments of the population. It may seem like I just sign on and throw a bunch of stuff up on a page and let my mind fly, but I actually put a lot of thought into these. I put a lot of thought into life. I think even my friends don’t understand how much effort I put into things sometimes. Because I do have a certain amount of ease about myself, my style, my speech pattern,it all seems very easy and lazy, and it’s really not. Sometimes people take that as me not caring, they’re generally wrong.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

Nov 5th Injuries happen

So, I did not run today, my foot hurts. I’m keeping this short today, because I just hurt and I want to rest. I said I wanted to get back to posting every day and so I am. Even if this is short, cheap and easy. I will run as far as I can tomorrow, no matter how uncomfortable. I hope this injury heals soon.
Sorry, I don’t have much more to talk about. I’m trying to stay calm about Tuesday, and I explained to some students today how Drumpf is dangerous, because they just think it’s funny, our version of Berlusconi. But the reality is, any President of the United States has much more impact and can be more dangerous than the Prime Minister of Italy. I explained to them how Drumpf has threatened to leave NATO, they understand that. They went from laughing about how stupid he was and how embarrassing it was for America, to understanding how dangerous the man is for the US and the World.
That was pretty much my day today, that and lots of pain from my foot. No visible bruising, but there is still pain like there’s a bruise. Hopefully, I can put in some pain-free miles tomorrow, I won’t be doing my long-run this weekend, I will wait until next weekend, or until I’m healed enough. We will see how it goes, feet are the most difficult part of the body to heal as far as I’m concerned, because you have to be upright.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you! (particularly tomorrow! Good luck everyone in the NY Marathon, and any race anyone’s running!)

Nov 4th I have been negligent

I have been skipping quality content in the form of inane rants on non-running days for a while now. That totally sucks of me, so I will do better to be more disciplined and I have determined I will work to bring content every day! This is it, last weekend of US Shitshow 2016, and I have to say, the crazy is getting worse. Once again, the problem is you all don’t vote (I know many of my friends do, but I’m talking in general, we’re looking at a 50-55% voter turnout, ridiculous!) So what up now?
Well, I’m not holding back on stupid people posting stupid things anymore. Let’s face it, I’ve never been particularly kind to people who are willfully ignorant, but sometimes I hold back, if it’s on a friend’s post on bookfaces or something. But we can’t afford to do that anymore. Drumpf is literally stupid. He’s done worse with his gifted wealth from his daddy than Parris Hilton has. Let’s think about that for a minute. Parris Hilton, completely useless human being, has done more with the money her parents gave her, than Donald Drumpf, so-called successful businessman, yet actually just another completely useless human being.
Here’s a man who has been caught exploiting undocumented workers in his real-estate ventures, and CLAIMS hewill deport the undocumented workers he relies on for his profit margins. Why do I know this is a lie? Why do I know he won’t deport them? First, it’s literally, physically impossible. Secondly, he knows where his bread is buttered. He simply wants to make sure they gain no legal status so he can continue to exploit their horrible situation for his own profit, and the profit of his friends. They make more being exploited here than they would make being exploited in their home countries, this is true. But they are still being exploited, working 2-3-4 jobs just to afford to live and send a little to family back in their home country to make their lives better (Seriously, go talk to some of these people and learn their stories, it will tear your heart into pieces if you have one). It’s completely crazy what we do to this world.
But people like Drumpf know they can get you to blame these people, by telling outrageous stories about welfare fraud and shit like that, which when you actually look into it, welfare in total is such an amazingly small part of the federal budget, it’s literally cents on the dollar of what you pay in taxes, one of the only things we spend less on is science. I’m just so done with the whole thing. Not the politicians, the people. We can have different opinions, but we can’t have different facts, we can’t have different realities.

Facts have a “liberal bias”. Thing change, they evolve, power structures oppress, entropy happens, evolution is real, so is man-made climate change. These are actual, provable facts, to the best of our knowledge. If we’re no all accepting facts , we cannot move forward. Why not? Because if you see arguing from a different idea of reality, which does not exist, then you can’t meet in the middle, because there is no middle. You are on a parallel line, not the same plane. There is a simple way to find the middle ground, accept science. End of statement. Sometimes science gets it wrong, for a brief time. It happens, we are imperfect beings in an imperfect world. But in general, we find we can trust science. Plus science requires that we always keep our minds open to mew information changing the old ideas, and even proving wrong the old knowledge, but it requires proof. And that’s the trick, we have a situation now where half the people require no proof and half of them insist the proof isn’t real! We need to stop this, I feel like I need to think of a way to make this stop. I hope one day I can.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!