Gil Can Run!A blog on Running and all the crap that runs through my head while doing it

May 13th The beginning of the end (of the school year!)

So many of my friends and family are posting about graduating, as Universities are ending their school years. I keep thinking “I graduated years ago, but I keep learning.” That’s the thing, if you don’t keep learning through life, whether in an institution or not, you are doing something wrong. If all you ever learn reaffirms what you believe and nothing you learn ever challenges your beliefs, you’re also doing something wrong. Because pobody’s nerfect. I’ll get back to that.
So I got to work early this morning and it was the toughest Saturday I’ve had all year. I love my Saturday classes, both B1 level classes (well now is technically a B1+, as all three students passed their PET exams!). But for a Saturday morning my students are not only bright, cheery, and attentive, but they are genuinely nice people, who seem to have a real interest in the classes and learning. But today, I had to do mock exams for so many students and I spent my morning running around the building getting everything done. I still have to correct everything on Monday. That’s part of the end of the year stuff for the ESL teacher. So I’m not upset about it, but I’m just stating, by the time I got home I was really tired. Then it was time for lunch and instead of just heading out for my Saturday run as has become my custom I waited. Because the other part of this equation is that it is hot here now. Summer has shown up, and it’s doing it big.
Today is cooler than yesterday, but it was high 70s (about 25° C) today. The change has been pretty much overnight, and last year, the high temperatures came on earlier. The other thing is, the Sun is intense here. There isn’t much to block anything around here. Another teacher was remarking on her time in Abu Dhabi she never got a sunburn, because while it’s hot the Sun is often muted by all the dust in the air. So with the Sun out and heat up, I waited to go for my run. At first I wanted to get a longer run in, but I didn’t bring water with me and I needed to tape up the nips. I’m sweating so much in this heat the body glide is not working for very long. So back to band-aids on anything 10 miles or more.
Anyway, back to the lecture at hand, learning. Anyone who thinks they know everything is an idiot. Anyone who thinks, “I know this, so I don’t have to worry about that,” is an idiot. Anyone who thinks they have the answer, is an idiot. I don’t have any answers, I definitely don’t know everything, and I have to worry about everything I can observe. Seems daunting and depressing? It’s not. It’s impossible to know everything, even if one day we were to discover the exact origin of the Universe, I mean completely describe the Big Bang, reconcile the standard model with quantum physics, whatever the issue may be, I guarantee new questions will arise. So anyone, who today claims to know things, they’re too stupid to know that they don’t know.
Well why worry? Because we should search for answers. It’s not up to some magical sky being, it’s not up to some “Earth Mother” or any outside force. We are here now, and we have our senses and our reasoning and our language, and we can attempt to describe things. Regardless of any “ultimate truth” about gods or anything else, I think it is incumbent upon every human being to explore that which we can. But more than that, it’s incumbent upon us to care for each other, all other human beings. Not just the ones our prejudices and preconceived notions tell us are “worthy” or care and concern. Look, I worry about Donald Trump, and not because he could literally destroy the world in one of his tantrums. I worry about him, because as horrid as he is, he is still an expression of humanity. I go to sleep at night hoping I wake in the morning to news of his death, I really do, and that’s terrible of me. I’m not sure that he can be rehabilitated, and I don’t care at this point as I’ve said, he’s hurt so many people. So, while I want him removed by any means necessary, I do hope he can be healed, I hope he doesn’t do real harm to those who are around him who legitimately care for him. I honestly worry that none of the people around him actually care for him, I think that’s where his hate stems from. But, it’s a chicken and egg, because surely most of his misery stems from his own view in which all things in life are capitalistic transactions. However, I worry, I think that’s why I enjoy Steven Universe so much. I see much of myself in Steven.
Also, Donnie Pee-Party is a perfect example of someone who claims to have all the answers and has none. He claims this, yet all his ideas are the same ideas we’ve ever tried which haven’t worked. Trickle-Down Economics DOES NOT WORK. This is demonstrable. Jingoism, isolationism does not work, this is also demonstrable. His attempts as Fascism, we know fascism does not work. Class-warfare, racial hatred, racism, bigotry, these are his answers. They’re not answers at all, they are opiates. They are there to make the down-trodden, yet horribly uneducated feel like they shouldn’t worry about that feeling in the back of their heads telling them it’s the system and the system needs to change. His answers are to shit on the fringes of society, to make the slightly less outside people not rebel against the system which keeps people like him wealthy, and the vast majority of us in crushing poverty, or worse. That’s a good way to put it, Donnie’s idea is to use whatever rhetoric he needs to in order to make the “crushing poverty crowd” hate the “have it even worse crowd.” That sounds horribly cynical, but don’t let it be. Do you feel like you’re in either one of those groups, if you’re in the crushing poverty group you need to accept and love the have it even worse crowd, and not blame them for your position in life, or theirs. You need to recognize it’s systemic.
I don’t know much, but I know if we all come together and live together and learn together and love together, good things will come of that. That’s not an answer, it’s just the best idea I’ve come up with based on the best observations. I don’t blame people for their “station” in life, that’s a product of the system, regardless of any of their perceived or real character flaws. Beware of anyone who tells you someone else specifically, is to blame for your trouble, and that people who struggle are to blame for their own misery. Beware anyone who gives you answers. The other side of that is look for people who challenge you to really find the answer on your own, who advise and encourage you to learn and walk your own truth. Look for the people who are looking to build, not rule. Nobody should ever want to rule, we should want to build, create, and explore, that is what we are made to do.
In that sense I give you:

“I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just bringing up three things that are like so important to the rest of the world, that I don’t happen to find as much importance in”, and that’s the thing. He’s not telling anyone what to do, he’s just giving an idea, his idea. I don’t agree with him, I’m not Straight Edge and never have been, but I do agree with his overall concept, of finding his truth and encouraging others to find theirs. Thanks Ian.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 10th Interesting, very interesting

Due to the G7 meeting happening in Bari this weekend, my Wednesday class was canceled. That gave me extra time to sleep in and run today. I needed it too, as I stayed up massively late watching Steven Universe episodes. I do really enjoy that show, it’s got a great message for kids. Anyway, it is super-sunny out today and I really need to start carrying water with me, even on shorter runs, because I am sweating like I’ve never sweated before. Those who have run with me in warm weather know what an extreme statement I am making in saying that.
So, life went along normally yesterday, and last night I fell asleep to Steven Universe, as stated above. Then I woke up and it seems, in my birth country, all Hell broke loose. Cheeto Mussolini (he’s way too inept to be Twittler, thankfully) fired the Director of the FBI. Darth Orange’s people claimed it was about the handling of the Clinton e-mail shit. But let’s face facts, that’s not it. Shortly after the firing was announced (which one nameless “news” org referred to as Comey’s resignation) we find out the first subpoenas were issued in the Trump-Russia Affair. That’s what I’m naming it, the -gate suffix is not fitting. Firstly, this certainly reeks of actual treason committed by high ranking officials in a presidential campaign and possibly by the candidate themselves. This isn’t under-handed politics and a B&E, this is treason, conspiring with a foreign government to sway the election process in the US. Treason, interestingly, is the only crime actually detailed by the Constitution of the United States. I’d say it’s pretty important.
So in the letter of dismissal there is no mention of the handling of the Clinton thing, but there is mention of the investigation into the Trump-Russia Affair. It was about a full year from the time Nixon fired the special prosecutor investigating Watergate and Nixon’s resignation. I don’t think this guy will resign. I have to say, I kind of hope he doesn’t. I know I’m massively anti-death penalty. That is the prescribed punishment in the U.S. Constitution regarding treason. But, the man spent years talking about conspiracy theories of President Obama being born in a foreign land, and secretly being a Muslim, and all that garbage. Then proceeded to run one of the most racist, xenophobic, bigoted, horrible spectacles of a campaign in World History. Then conspired with a foreign government to win, or so it seems. His “win” has caused a major uptick in racist, bigoted, xenophobic, homophobic violence in the United States. Also, clearly not fearing reprisals from such a man, other dictators in the world have followed suit. Chechnya, deserves special mention on this one.
Considering all the pain and suffering this faux-populism, fascist, jingoist, bigoted bullshit causes, I’m actually willing to sacrifice by overall belief that all people deserve to live with a modicum of dignity, regardless of their crimes. In this instance, the suffering, in just over 100 days, this man has caused should be answered clearly. An example should be made for all. Assuming, of course, there is evidence of his crimes. We do need some form of proof. But if there is proof, there is no excuse for the pain he has caused, and allowed. I do admit, my argument here is assuming guilt, which I should not do. But the circumstantial evidence we do have looks fairly compelling, particularly now.
We know the Campaign Chair, Paul Manifort was on the payroll of a pro-Russian Ukrainian organization. We know Flynn was not only in communication with Russian officials, prior to, during, and after the election, we also know he appeared willingly on Russian propaganda television. Tillerson has received awards from Putin himself. Carter Page, Kushner, there are so many loose ends. Trump’s own children have talked about how most of their investors come from Russia. On top of all this, Trump has hired a law firm to fight against accusations of involvement with Russia, and is said to be preparing a “certified letter” stating he has nothing to do with Russia.
Now, obviously innocent people hire lawyers all the time, when they are actually needing to defend themselves. As of yet, there are no charges and McConnell (who is most likely also involved) says there is no need for a special prosecutor. But the Orange Shitlord is also currently attacking the Senior Senator from the Great State of Connecticut over his military service. Because Blumenthal is in the forefront of demanding an investigation. Blumenthal was a dogged AG for Connecticut, working hard over many years to protect the people of the state from predatory businesses. During his senatorial campaign against Linda McMahon they went after him over his saying he served during Vietnam (although never having been stationed in Vietnam, yet at times leading people to believe he had been). McMahon, who as a woman didn’t serve, was free to do so. It did not help her, given her husband, nor any of her children ever volunteered for any branch of the service. Donnie, being the “bone-spurred”, baseball playing, draft-dodger he is should probably stay away from this one. But we know he won’t. He’s like a moth to a flame, he can’t help himself. I think in the final analysis this will be the character flaw (of the copious flaws he has) that will end up sinking him.
This is getting to be an absolute circus. It’s shameful, but the good news is, it looks like the rest of the world is waking up to this nonsense and starting to come around. France rejected their Trump-like candidate, as did Austria. In the UK Labour has pulled ahead of the Tories in the polls for the first time in a long time. While this may be a positive side-effect, he clearly needs to go as soon as possible.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 8th It’s as good a day as any

The change of running schedule has begun. Got up and out this morning. Luckily it’s a holiday here so my morning classes have been canceled. So I get to ease into this a little bit. Slept in a little bit and got out for 5 pretty good miles. Sore and tired, but pace was excellent and generally I felt like my form and movement were right on. Apart from my foot, which should be healed up in a week or so, and some soreness in my right Achilles, I’m firing on all cylinders. The tendon may be due to the cut on the toes, because it has appeared since the initial injury. So my footfall may have changed just enough to cause a secondary issue.
But I was running, on a Monday and thinking (I’ve talked about this before) how much people shit on Monday. Because of advertising. Almost all the ideas and attitudes we have in life are a result of advertising. Very rarely do we have a truly original, organic thought. People “hating Mondays” is no exception. What really kills me is when people finally get fed up enough at some aspect of our ad-driven society, and enough people band together and start fighting against it. Other people come in and immediately turn it into the very thing those people were rallying against. They find a way to monetize the situation, insert it into advertising and turn the movement into nothing but a marketing campaign.
One of these recently was a major flop when they got one of those people who are only famous because they’re famous to pretend to be some sort of protester and diffuse a tense standoff with a soft drink. Look at that, no names. Because if I use names, I play their game. I advertise for them, and honestly, that’s what they’re looking for. Every time you use the name of the brand, or the model, they win. Because while a few people who agree with you are going to boycott the product or whatever. The people who aren’t really paying attention, just hear names. Name recognition, brand “awareness” is what they’re after. It’s all horribly cynical.
Whenever we’re watching, reading, listening to anything; I truly mean anything books, magazines, newspapers, TV shows, movies, comic books, music; we need to always be aware and ask, “What are they trying to sell me?” I do it all the time, but I am lucky in that I have a training in Communications (it’s my Bachelor’s Degree for anyone not aware) so it is second nature to me.
But that’s the other thing, advertising has two ways it can work. The first is that it makes things seem like they’re something they’re not. A friend the other day was shocked to find that Portabello, Crimini, and Button mushrooms are all the same species. This is a perfect example of the first type of advertising. Portabello mushrooms did not originate in Italy either. Basically, you make up a story about something to make it seem exciting, “exotic” so people think they’re going on an adventure. Or you just repackage the same thing, so people think they’re getting something different when they really are having the same thing they always have. Usually, you can then charge more too!
The second way advertising works is by making you feel like you aren’t complete, you aren’t happy, unless you have this thing. Now the thing can either be the product, or the result the product supposedly brings you. Look at everything, clothing, makeup, exercise equipment, diet plans, gym memberships, iPhones, all of these things and so much more. You’re not beautiful unless you have this makeup line, you’re not attractive if you have fat here, or weigh x amount. You’re not cool unless you’re wearing this t-shirt. You can’t succeed unless you have this electronic device. Women won’t want you if you don’t drink this thing, drive this car, wash with this product.
In order to keep our economy running, which in itself oppresses people, we had to create an industry which centers around either lying to you, or making you feel like you are deficient. The entire system functions this way. Even the people telling you to love yourself are telling you the problem is that you don’t love yourself enough! Absolutely, you should love everything about you. But it’s not up to someone else to judge whether or not you have done “enough”. We’re all trained to believe we have to measure up to some standard. You don’t, you rock, as long as you’re not harming others you’re alright. But, unless someone asks me for an honest assessment of their situation, I nor anyone else has no right to judge that person, once again up until they harm another. I really think the old, old philosophers were onto something when they struck on that idea. I think we need to look at our laws, and our constitutions and readjust them based on this premise. And no, offending your sensibilities isn’t harm. Harm is being injurious. Basically, this idea outlaws all sorts of vile things, including war and modern advertising. This does not bother me at all. And no, you can’t tell me advertising isn’t injurious when you see some many people harming themselves because of advertising, in the form of eating disorders, self-harm, etc.
So that’s where I’m at today, stop following fashion, stop listening to advertising, stop keeping up with the Cardassians (see what I did there, I’m funny too!), stop and let the whole machine slow down, let it grind down. Because we need to break it, or it will break us. There’s a fight to be had when it does break down, keep that in mind. There will be struggle, as those who already have so much try and take what’s left for themselves. Because it’s a lie too. They already “own” it. You don’t own your house, a bank does, you don’t own your car, a bank does. They own the land, not you, because they will take it from you when they want. If the law isn’t on their side, they’ll change the law. So we either need to lobby to change things, or we just need to crash the system and fight it out with those who hold the resources and tell us there isn’t enough for everyone.
“In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.”  -The Dictator starring Charlie Chaplin

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 7th A successful failure

That was my run today. Last two and a half miles were just terrible. I think I didn’t hydrate properly this morning. But what can you do? I got out, I ran a decent pace for most of it. Every now and then you just don’t have it. I know I like to crack-wise and be self-deprecating, but I do have some pride, and I want to do well every time. The fact is though, running (if you’re honest with yourself) keeps you humble. So many people I know from running are excellent people, I think it’s because true runners, the people who really get into this are humble to begin with, and no matter how good they are at this, they stay there. Because it really is not easy. As I said yesterday, about Mr. Kipchoge’s run, even when everything is in your favor, failure is still an option. It is so much more difficult than it seems. Even though it’s just putting one foot in front of the other.
So that whole line of thought, got me into why am I the way I am? I don’t think anyone really knows. I don’t share that, even with my best friends. I mean I tell people about my experiences, overall, but I never really state “This is exactly why I am the way I am,” (to the best of my knowledge. Maybe it’s time I really tell that story, I mean as far as all this crusading and hard-headed-ness goes. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. There is a lot that goes into who I am.
It starts with a kid being brought to picket lines for striking workers, demonstrations, protests, folk music festivals. When I was very young, this is what we did as a family, that and camping in Vermont. Like pooping in a hole in the ground camping. Sorry for the poo reference, but that’s what it was. It was about being taught that no matter how bad I seemingly had it sometimes, there were people out there struggling so much more than I could even imagine. I took that stuff to heart. I used to see discarded things on the side of the road, and imagine they were some other child’s only possession and through some horrible twist of fate it was ripped from them, and they yearned for that thing, to bring them comfort and escape in their hard times. That’s always been my psychology.
With that, came the idea that all people deserve kindness. But I was taught to only help people when they ask, let them have their pride, don’t assume you know better, and don’t assume someone needs help. In fact, don’t assume anything about people, judge them on their actions, not on their appearances. But, regardless of what other people say, when you see injustice, real injustice, fight it. Even if it doesn’t directly harm you, it lessens the world, and harms you indirectly. I think I’ve generally done a good job on that through my life, and I’ve made lots of great friends based on that. But this stuff is all just the basics. Why have I gone to such lengths and alienated myself from people on some issues? It’s not just general “justice warrior” stuff. There are specific instances which have been very instructive for me. They do revolve around one particular friend. It just happens to be, I made this friend at a very important time in development and the way some people reacted, and some of the events that occurred made a huge impact on an already pretty well-grounded kid.
True to form I will refrain from naming names, and I will try and stay gender neutral, but if this friend reads this they will know it is them. The first thing happened shortly after we became friends. We actually weren’t friends the first year they came to the school we were in. But the second year we ended up becoming friends. 4 years earlier my family had moved from the South end of town to the much wealthier North end. It was not easy for me, my father being a labor leader, going to school with all the kids of the managers he fought against on a daily basis. It was like I came from a different planet than these kids. throw in my natural awkwardness and I was done for. In Third Grade though, the nearest school to ours had been shut down, half the students got sent to our school, the other half to the school on the other area closest (I grew up in a big town, at this time there were 6 or 7 elementary schools operating). So 3rd grade, we didn’t get along. I don’t know why exactly, I think I was trying still to “fit in” with the kids there. But 4th grade, we became friends, and we still are today. So one day, I have my friend to my house to play.
Now, we lived on the open end of a cul-de-sac, so kids were pretty much free to just run around. The chances of cars coming speeding down our street was slim and none. So my friend came over and we played, and had a great time. I don’t remember exactly what we did, it was 4th grade. So probably stuff like tag and whatnot. Anyway, fast-forward to after my friend goes home. A neighborhood mother comes knocking at our door and my mother answers. She wants to talk to my mom about this afternoon. Mind you, we were (as far as 4th graders go) perfectly behaved the whole time. Well, here’s what I remember of the conversation in total, this neighborhood mother informed my mother that I was not allowed to play with her son (1 or 2 years younger than I) anymore, because I was playing with *racist expletive deleted*. After closing the door, my mother had to explain to a very confused 4th grader what that language meant and how that woman was horrible for saying those things.
Now, because of my particular looks, I’ve had to deal with some on and off prejudice myself in life. I’ve been pulled over because police were wondering “If I needed help,” or “If I was lost.” Code for “We didn’t think you belonged here”. I haven’t been oppressed, once they saw my license and whatnot, they changed their tune, which frankly made me feel sick to my stomach. How grotesque of them. Never really been in trouble because of it. Every now and then, people who didn’t know me have given me a “you speak so well” and other microaggressive bullshit. But here’s the thing, my friend I was talking about, I know they’ve dealt with the “You speak so well” bullshit so much. I can’t even count the times people said it to them in front of me. This leads to the other event that really changed me, even if it took me some time to realize how much it truly did.
So one day, this friend says, “I wish I was white.” I forget everything that transpired previously, there were so many things that occurred in our life and times together that it all sort of bunches up, but it happened I remember it clearly. Because that is the thing that resounds to this day. By all measures, based on what the Conservative gas-bags say, this should have never happened. A child, brought up in a stable “nuclear” family. Middle-class, highly intelligent, highly motivated, children should have it easy and shouldn’t have any problems, because you know there’s no such thing as racism, or whatever. But, this is how I know, not think, not believe, there is systemic racism. Now mind you this friend is a qualified success, and top-notch human being, parent, and spouse at this point. Masters degree from an Ivy League Institution, spouse also Ivy League Educated and highly respected in their fields. Amazing person, but still, had to put up with so much shit, over skin color. From ignorant assholes who just would talk shit.
This is how I know racism is a real, systemic thing. It’s not just about overt acts of prejudice, it’s about a lifetime of being worn down, talked down to, and having to stand there and take it all and try and smile, because anything less is met with the most disgusting of violence. For a child/adolescent with so much going for them to say something like that, there must be something motivating a statement like that. This is in the days before equal time was completely erased too, so this isn’t about something someone heard on Fixed News or MSNBC, this is before those channels existed, or were even imagined as possible by most Americans. This was honest, from the heart reaction to having to always put up with people’s bullshit.
I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with anyone. But yes, this is how I know this shit is real, and it really hurts people. Even today, I can’t imagine how hard it must truly be to deal with this on a daily basis. I don’t think I’d have the patience to deal with it on a daily basis. But I try to stand up, get some light shed on this mess, maybe help people come to understanding, and abandon their ways. Because there’s no reason anyone should ever wish they were ever born different from how they were. Good or bad. My friend happens to be an excellent person, from an excellent family. But that doesn’t matter. No one should have extra hardship put on them just because of the circumstances of their birth. It’s such a huge shame on our society, it pervades the entire globe too. National, socioeconomic, religious; racism has no borders, no boundaries. It is everywhere and it needs to be destroyed.
A kid who was taught to face injustice whenever it appears see injustice play out and takes in these lessons and tries hard to make it right. Because that’s the other part of me that I don’t talk about. Everything that I don’t like in my life, every time I feel like I’ve failed, or simply fallen short, I play those moments over in my mind, and wish more than anything to go back and fix it. If I knew then what I knew now, I would have told that neighborhood mom to go fuck herself. I would have been even more vocal from an even younger age. No one should ever have to deal with this mess we’ve created. And the people who are hurt the most by it, they’re NOT TO BLAME. It’s not their fault, and they don’t have to change. The people who are outside, the people who cause it, they have to change. I have to change, it’s why I wish I could go back, and really get right in people’s shitty faces when they were doing shitty things. Too many times I stayed back and was afraid. Even today, there are times I stay silent when I should speak up. Not as often, but it’s not any less shameful. I will fight to improve myself, and I will fight to make the world a less shitty place. Not just for my friends, but for everyone.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 6th What a day!

What an interesting run today. Woke up, went to work, on the way I learned that Eliud Kipcoghe missed a sub 2 hour marathon by just a matter of about 1 second per mile, average. Sure, it was under controlled conditions, in a group, with specially designed shoes. In the end, it was a marketing stunt. But it was still an amazing effort. I don’t even think I can sprint an appreciable distance at 4:35/mi, forget about run that speed for almost 26.2 miles. His average ended up being 4:36/mi. I get that most of this stuff is marketing, and I don’t want to fall for that nonsense. But forget the corporate crap, he still destroyed the current record at the distance, whether it was recognized or not. And apparently they used a drafting formation that hasn’t been done in a race before, per se. Which is interesting, I wonder if the elites may start adopting the wedge drafting formation to try and break records, which gets them more money. They can stay in formation for most of a race, trading spots, and then shoot it out at the end. Could be interesting to see.
After I got home, mind flooded with thoughts regarding the attempt at the unthinkable (please, totally thinkable, but I really think about 2 hours is the max, a few seconds either side). I had a lovely lunch of risotto, then went out and did my own run. I should have taped up my busted toes, but oh well. For a good amount of the run I was just thinking about how on my best days, the guys who ran in Monza this morning were still almost twice as fast as I am. My marathon PR being in the 3:40s (ok ok 3:47:32). I mean what a long way from what the elites do. According to my Athlinks race profile, I’m top 21% in 5k times, yet only top 60% in marathon times. I comfortably do the distance (most of the time) but I just really fall off. I feel like I need to figure that out. Definitely the attempt at a sub 2 hour marathon had me thinking today.
Then for some reason, I ended up thinking about how thirsty recent exes were. I posted both times a couple of them embarrassed themselves on my personal Bookfaces. It’s so strange to me, because I really don’t see myself (most of the time) as anything special at all. But I was just thinking about how dickish of me to not even respond to one of their drunken DMs, and the other one “accidentally” liking a post of mine, then un-liking it. I think this was prompted by the news that two of my very good friends’ divorce was made final, and that apparently my father was divorced again. I literally have one person I wish it didn’t go to hell with in this world. No, it’s nobody you know! Seriously, even those of you who know me pretty damned well.
At the same time, I’m glad I’ve been careful. I’m glad I’ve been very fastidious about wearing protection, wait. Fuck the euphemisms, condoms. I am very good about wearing condoms. Not saying I’ve been perfect about it, but we all make mistakes, and when that mistake has been made, I’ve still been extra careful about other things. More than that, as much as I wish I wasn’t so scared of marriage, relationships in total, and other stuff like that, I’m also glad I haven’t rushed off into something in the way most people do. I’d rather never have kids (even though I totally want to be a dad one day and hopefully have totally weird and happy kids) than rush off and have kids and make their lives miserable because I’m in a shitty relationship with someone. Kids should be given every chance to succeed and be happy, they shouldn’t be something used by parents. That includes someone facing down the start of a “new” decade on the planet. I will remain in no rush and let things happen as they will. Having kids because I feel like I’m under some artificial deadline for such things, imposed by society, is unfair to the kids. That goes against everything I believe in. I guess that’s all getting a little heavy for me right now. At the same time, it’s a small ego boost to know you’re making exes thirsty.
So, I just need to keep my head down, and keep moving forward. There are more important things to worry about than me. I’m not saying I’m not important, but I really don’t have a problem sacrificing myself for the greater good. The fact of the matter is, if we are to accept the alternate timeline/universe theory of things, I’m already dead. Infinite worlds, infinite possibilities, I’m pretty sure in a large portion of those I’m already dead. Of course, with infinity you don’t really get proportion, because it’s infinite. It will keep going. But that’s to say at every Planck time I either exist or I don’t. It’s true for all of us. Basically, everything is, and isn’t, all at once. A constant state of flux. what we experience is the “on” side. There are realities where I am married, have 17 kids, rule the world, and some where I died while writing this very post. But I can’t concern myself with those (for now, working on the calculus) and can only be focused on what I know here and now, and where I am here and now. Keep fighting for what’s right, Do what I can, when I can, and laugh as much as possible.
I know, right, laugh. Well today it’s just over those two sad sacks. That may be evil of me, it’s possible. But I don’t think so. Not like I’m some model, or business mogul, or athletic wonder, or amazing talent. No one special here, nothing to worry about, nothing to see here, keep moving. But still. Definitely gave me a smile, and lightened my load today when my legs were pretty tired, and my toes started hurting.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 5th Change of ideas

OK, I’m moving to a different running schedule for the month of May. I have to, my time is going to be pretty short for the first three weeks of the month. So I made up for missing out on Tuesday. Foot is feeling good. No pain, discomfort, or worrying feelings with it. Even though I am still trying to stay off the outside of my foot for now. I was groggy, exhausted even. Between the bullshit politics happening the world, and US right now. All these fucking fascist assholes popping up. Also the fact I drank a bit during the United match last night…ha…I was pretty run down this morning. So I just took it easy and let my body dictate the pace.
Speaking of politics, good news, someone apparently threw an egg at Marine LePen in France. It looks like it missed a bit and ended up only splashing her a bit, shame that. I think we need to throw more food at these people, rotten food of course, nothing fresh. That would be wasteful. But honestly, they’re trash and should be put out with the rest of the refuse. Garbage ideas are garbage ideas, that’s the way it is.
Speaking of garbage ideas, those monstrous shitheads in the US passed their “Obamacare repeal” bill in the House. Now, the Senate and that turtle piece of shit already said they will write their own bill, but here’s what happened. The party who, for my entire life, has been harping about “How much will it cost?” Just basically passed a bill the same as the one they couldn’t even bring to a vote a couple weeks ago. How do I know, when the text of the bill isn’t even completed? Because what else could it be? Only a little more draconian, but they claim they put in an $8 billion “high risk pool” for people with pre-existing conditions. So basically, if you’ve already been seriously ill, you MIGHT be able to get coverage, it will still cost more, but you MAY get a small subsidy someday. We know the old bill would have seen 24 million people lose coverage. But we have no idea about this one, because they didn’t even wait for the Congressional Budget Office to look at the costs and the impact. The “How much will it cost” people have NO IDEA how much it’ll cost! How sickening is that?
So they have shown, definitively, they do not care about costs, they do not care about impact, they do not care about what’s best for the American people, or any people. They care about their own bottom lines, they care about their investors…I’m sorry, did I say “investors?” I mean donors, but really at this point investor is a better term, isn’t it? Money needs to get the fuck out of politics. Politics needs to get the fuck out of politics. What do I mean? These people are so subscribed to their philosophy, which of course justifies their treatment of people. They don’t question anything about themselves, they don’t question the pain they cause. It’s the party line. It’s what they read in some Ayn Rand shitfest (her books are garbage). To them, they honestly believe poverty is the fault of the poor, because they’ve never even seen the real situation. They’ve been told by Rash Loofa, George Buck, Ronnie Raygun, what it’s like. They cling so desperately to the myth of the “Welfare Queen” the “Lazy Taker Drug Addict”. They believe it so much, they make up stories in their heads, about the time they witnessed it. It’s all a bunch of bullshit. How do I know they haven’t witnessed it, because it literally doesn’t exist. The very few instances of actual fraud in the system are hyped beyond hyperbole.
We need to get to a place where our laws and rules come from a reasonable place. Where we understand that the old ways of thinking were wrong. There is almost nothing good, when it comes to governance and economy, to take from the past. The philosophies they are based off of are inherently flawed. How can you say that the United States Government was founded perfectly, when the same men writing “All men are created equal” were owning other men, women, and children? Obviously, there is a major flaw there in whatever they come up with. How can you reconcile the two ideas? And how can you reconcile that we still keep those human beings back, hold them down, because our system requires poverty, because wealth and poverty are relative. So we started a competition, and prohibited some people from participating, because we decided they weren’t people. Then when we they forced us to let them start competing, we still put every road block in their way, and still do. Then the politicians and most of the people have the unmitigated gall to ask them, “Why can’t you catch up?”
That’s what this healthcare vote is, for everyone who was delayed in starting, and everyone who simply can’t compete as well, it’s these millionaire assholes in Congress (check it, most of them are millionaires) saying, “Well, fuck you if you can’t catch up.” Fuck them, seriously, just fuck them. Fuck them, fuck Donnie, fuck Pence. If they do know what they are doing, then they are evil, and shouldn’t be allowed to do it. If they don’t know what they are doing, then they are ignorant, and should not be allowed to do what they are doing. Not just healthcare, but everything. Racism, sexism, poverty, healthcare, foreign policy, it’s all such a clusterfuck. Both parties have their problems, but one side, the GOP, is MUCH worse. Do I agree with, or like either, no. Do I think we need to completely change the way we do things, yes. But we have to get rid of the worst of it now, and then hammer out the rest. Short of a full-on revolution, which will just create a vacuum which will bring in some other tyrant. History shows us that will be the case. But these anti-science, anti-humanity, anti-earth ignoramuses must go, and now.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 4th Still have so much distance to travel

OK, get the running stuff out of the way today, because something has bothered me so very much today. I ran yesterday, I ran today. My foot is holding together. I barely even bled today, so toes are healing and running is not putting undue stress on the injury. I’m taking it easy, and slow. May is going to be a crazy month for me, it is exam time in my profession, so we have lots to do.
But let’s get into the shit today. Because I saw something, and I don’t give service to every shitty meme and reddit I see. If I did, I’d never be happy, and I’d never have time for anything else. But this was so abhorrent, I had to take some time with it. It absolutely dominated my thoughts while running today. I warn everyone, what I am about to post is sick. From here on out, I am not going to be very kind at all, and the actual thread, the things this guy says, it’s horrible, it’s misogyny, bad parenting, incestuous, and everything terrible pretty much rolled up into one. I want to discuss this, because the person worded it in such a way, which gives me a wonderful chance to show anyone, once and for all, this line of thinking, these ideas, ARE COMPLETELY BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE LESS OF A HUMAN BEING FOR HOLDING THEM. Yes, all caps, I want to be clear there, I want to leave no doubt. So, let’s begin; first, the offending screenshot:

OK Fucknut, you asked for those who read to “think about this logically.” So let’s do exactly fucking that. Not because you DESERVE people honoring your requests, but because it doesn’t even come close to holding up logically. We’re going to state his argument clearly first, because I want to tear this thing down brick by perfidious brick. I understand argument does not work with these people, they have their minds made up, but fuck this guy.

Fucknut’s argument:
definition of “cuckhold”- A man who raises other men’s children unknowingly. Derived from the cuckoo, a bird who lays eggs in other birds’ nests, and those birds raise the cuckoo chicks at the expense of their own, often. For purposes here, I believe we can all agree then, that the idea is some creature who does the work of child rearing, yet receives no benefit thereof.
Premises
1. Parenting is a job which one should reap some sort of reward or benefit from.
2. That benefit gained is inherently tied to the utility of your child.
3. The job of parenting involves taking care of a child’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being during their early life, and ends (implied) at a specified time, usually around 18-20 years after the birth of said child.
4. A parent should not have sexual relationships with their children.
5. The only value of a female is as a sexual object.
Conclusion: As women are only useful for sexual gratification of men, the parent has exerted energy for their term, and since they cannot benefit from using the female in the only way a female can be used, they gain no benefit and therefore as a “cuckhold”.

Now, I’ve never been a parent, but I’m a damned good uncle. So let’s sit down, and as sickening as it is, tear it apart, logically.
The definition is what it is, but the idea is manifestly idiotic. The idea of the “traditional family”, a mother, father, raising children together is fairly new. It has only ever, truly applied to middle-class Europeans. The upper-class has always had someone else rear their children and the lower classes depend on each other. Anyone else not touched by theological dogma has always looked to those in the community to help. Whether for economic, historic, sociological reasons. The simple fact is, humans are social creatures and have always raised children, more or less, in a communal fashion. Yes, the biological parents have always had a more prominent role, and are required to do most of the work, but overall, the community has always had a role to play. So, on its face, the idea of a “cuckhold” is ridiculous. Ensuring the next generation learns and grows is a natural act, and as no man or woman are an island unto themselves, we all share in the responsibility. And we become better when we share our expertise regardless of blood ties.
Onto premise one. Parenting as an economic transaction. Once again, I’m not a parent, but please allow me the opportunity to try this one. Based on my observations the purpose of parenting is to continue, and improve the species. Whether we’re talking bacterium in a petri dish or human beings, biology comes down to reproduction and evolution, creating the most survivable offspring you can. Let’s momentarily ignore the add-on human complexities, money, property, etc. Let us even cast aside biological difference, height, metabolism, or any physical nonsense like that. What does survivability mean for a human being? Our technology has so far surpassed nature, we all have a pretty good shot at long term survival, as long as we have access to it. We don’t all have to be good hunters, or fishermen, or farmers anymore. The only thing the majority of people need to do is be decent enough to recognize everyone should have access to penicillin so they don’t die of easily treatable illness, for example.
Individually as a parent you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be proud, you’ll be angry, you’ll have fear, you’ll trust, whatever emotions you end up feeling, let’s face it, parenting, like everything else, is a roller coaster. So, is there a reward? I’m told there is, but it seems to be something esoteric. Clearly, there is no prize to parenting, where you are rewarded with money, lands, resources, or wealth in any respect.
In regard to premise two, and the above stated argument that parenting doesn’t present some concrete reward; again it’s not a job where when your child grows up they owe you something. Now if you, and society, has done a good job, your child will recognize the value in helping others and will reward you with their continued presence and in what capacity they can. This is not tied to their usefulness as a person though. A good person  will do what they can when they can, and that’s it. But their value isn’t based on any metric of their utility for you or anyone else. I will not begin a discussion on individual value, but it is worth noting that all people have a value and deserve dignity.
Number three, parenting is a lifelong process. From the moment your first child is born, until (hopefully) you die, even after that. Your impact on your child(ren) stays until they die. While you may never be credited for it, what you pass on as a parent, may stay for generations to come. So there is no specified time of parenting.
Premise four is the only one which stands against scrutiny. Frankly, it’s a given. Biology tells us it’s a very bad idea. I don’t think I need to explain this any further. If you disagree, I absolutely have moral judgements to make about you, and none of them are good.
And the final twig trying so mightily to hold up the lead weight that is this whole sickening display, women are not, were not, and never will be solely for sexual fulfillment, child-bearing, or any of this other nonsense. Women have all the same skills, capabilities, and capacities of any man. The superficial biological differences are purely for reproduction e purpose, and thanks to technology, can be eliminated. I can sit here all day citing examples of equality, and sometimes even female supremacy.
And so, having looked at this logically, the person who wrote this is just garbage. The argument is garbage, and he’s an idiot for thinking it. It’s ok to entertain dumb ideas. It’s not ok to try and spread them. I hope this person is not a parent, and learns better before becoming one. Life is not a business transaction. People are not commodities. Women are not playthings. People have value whether they are useful to you or not.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!