Gil Can Run!A blog on Running and all the crap that runs through my head while doing it

May 8th It’s as good a day as any

The change of running schedule has begun. Got up and out this morning. Luckily it’s a holiday here so my morning classes have been canceled. So I get to ease into this a little bit. Slept in a little bit and got out for 5 pretty good miles. Sore and tired, but pace was excellent and generally I felt like my form and movement were right on. Apart from my foot, which should be healed up in a week or so, and some soreness in my right Achilles, I’m firing on all cylinders. The tendon may be due to the cut on the toes, because it has appeared since the initial injury. So my footfall may have changed just enough to cause a secondary issue.
But I was running, on a Monday and thinking (I’ve talked about this before) how much people shit on Monday. Because of advertising. Almost all the ideas and attitudes we have in life are a result of advertising. Very rarely do we have a truly original, organic thought. People “hating Mondays” is no exception. What really kills me is when people finally get fed up enough at some aspect of our ad-driven society, and enough people band together and start fighting against it. Other people come in and immediately turn it into the very thing those people were rallying against. They find a way to monetize the situation, insert it into advertising and turn the movement into nothing but a marketing campaign.
One of these recently was a major flop when they got one of those people who are only famous because they’re famous to pretend to be some sort of protester and diffuse a tense standoff with a soft drink. Look at that, no names. Because if I use names, I play their game. I advertise for them, and honestly, that’s what they’re looking for. Every time you use the name of the brand, or the model, they win. Because while a few people who agree with you are going to boycott the product or whatever. The people who aren’t really paying attention, just hear names. Name recognition, brand “awareness” is what they’re after. It’s all horribly cynical.
Whenever we’re watching, reading, listening to anything; I truly mean anything books, magazines, newspapers, TV shows, movies, comic books, music; we need to always be aware and ask, “What are they trying to sell me?” I do it all the time, but I am lucky in that I have a training in Communications (it’s my Bachelor’s Degree for anyone not aware) so it is second nature to me.
But that’s the other thing, advertising has two ways it can work. The first is that it makes things seem like they’re something they’re not. A friend the other day was shocked to find that Portabello, Crimini, and Button mushrooms are all the same species. This is a perfect example of the first type of advertising. Portabello mushrooms did not originate in Italy either. Basically, you make up a story about something to make it seem exciting, “exotic” so people think they’re going on an adventure. Or you just repackage the same thing, so people think they’re getting something different when they really are having the same thing they always have. Usually, you can then charge more too!
The second way advertising works is by making you feel like you aren’t complete, you aren’t happy, unless you have this thing. Now the thing can either be the product, or the result the product supposedly brings you. Look at everything, clothing, makeup, exercise equipment, diet plans, gym memberships, iPhones, all of these things and so much more. You’re not beautiful unless you have this makeup line, you’re not attractive if you have fat here, or weigh x amount. You’re not cool unless you’re wearing this t-shirt. You can’t succeed unless you have this electronic device. Women won’t want you if you don’t drink this thing, drive this car, wash with this product.
In order to keep our economy running, which in itself oppresses people, we had to create an industry which centers around either lying to you, or making you feel like you are deficient. The entire system functions this way. Even the people telling you to love yourself are telling you the problem is that you don’t love yourself enough! Absolutely, you should love everything about you. But it’s not up to someone else to judge whether or not you have done “enough”. We’re all trained to believe we have to measure up to some standard. You don’t, you rock, as long as you’re not harming others you’re alright. But, unless someone asks me for an honest assessment of their situation, I nor anyone else has no right to judge that person, once again up until they harm another. I really think the old, old philosophers were onto something when they struck on that idea. I think we need to look at our laws, and our constitutions and readjust them based on this premise. And no, offending your sensibilities isn’t harm. Harm is being injurious. Basically, this idea outlaws all sorts of vile things, including war and modern advertising. This does not bother me at all. And no, you can’t tell me advertising isn’t injurious when you see some many people harming themselves because of advertising, in the form of eating disorders, self-harm, etc.
So that’s where I’m at today, stop following fashion, stop listening to advertising, stop keeping up with the Cardassians (see what I did there, I’m funny too!), stop and let the whole machine slow down, let it grind down. Because we need to break it, or it will break us. There’s a fight to be had when it does break down, keep that in mind. There will be struggle, as those who already have so much try and take what’s left for themselves. Because it’s a lie too. They already “own” it. You don’t own your house, a bank does, you don’t own your car, a bank does. They own the land, not you, because they will take it from you when they want. If the law isn’t on their side, they’ll change the law. So we either need to lobby to change things, or we just need to crash the system and fight it out with those who hold the resources and tell us there isn’t enough for everyone.
“In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.”  -The Dictator starring Charlie Chaplin

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 7th A successful failure

That was my run today. Last two and a half miles were just terrible. I think I didn’t hydrate properly this morning. But what can you do? I got out, I ran a decent pace for most of it. Every now and then you just don’t have it. I know I like to crack-wise and be self-deprecating, but I do have some pride, and I want to do well every time. The fact is though, running (if you’re honest with yourself) keeps you humble. So many people I know from running are excellent people, I think it’s because true runners, the people who really get into this are humble to begin with, and no matter how good they are at this, they stay there. Because it really is not easy. As I said yesterday, about Mr. Kipchoge’s run, even when everything is in your favor, failure is still an option. It is so much more difficult than it seems. Even though it’s just putting one foot in front of the other.
So that whole line of thought, got me into why am I the way I am? I don’t think anyone really knows. I don’t share that, even with my best friends. I mean I tell people about my experiences, overall, but I never really state “This is exactly why I am the way I am,” (to the best of my knowledge. Maybe it’s time I really tell that story, I mean as far as all this crusading and hard-headed-ness goes. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. There is a lot that goes into who I am.
It starts with a kid being brought to picket lines for striking workers, demonstrations, protests, folk music festivals. When I was very young, this is what we did as a family, that and camping in Vermont. Like pooping in a hole in the ground camping. Sorry for the poo reference, but that’s what it was. It was about being taught that no matter how bad I seemingly had it sometimes, there were people out there struggling so much more than I could even imagine. I took that stuff to heart. I used to see discarded things on the side of the road, and imagine they were some other child’s only possession and through some horrible twist of fate it was ripped from them, and they yearned for that thing, to bring them comfort and escape in their hard times. That’s always been my psychology.
With that, came the idea that all people deserve kindness. But I was taught to only help people when they ask, let them have their pride, don’t assume you know better, and don’t assume someone needs help. In fact, don’t assume anything about people, judge them on their actions, not on their appearances. But, regardless of what other people say, when you see injustice, real injustice, fight it. Even if it doesn’t directly harm you, it lessens the world, and harms you indirectly. I think I’ve generally done a good job on that through my life, and I’ve made lots of great friends based on that. But this stuff is all just the basics. Why have I gone to such lengths and alienated myself from people on some issues? It’s not just general “justice warrior” stuff. There are specific instances which have been very instructive for me. They do revolve around one particular friend. It just happens to be, I made this friend at a very important time in development and the way some people reacted, and some of the events that occurred made a huge impact on an already pretty well-grounded kid.
True to form I will refrain from naming names, and I will try and stay gender neutral, but if this friend reads this they will know it is them. The first thing happened shortly after we became friends. We actually weren’t friends the first year they came to the school we were in. But the second year we ended up becoming friends. 4 years earlier my family had moved from the South end of town to the much wealthier North end. It was not easy for me, my father being a labor leader, going to school with all the kids of the managers he fought against on a daily basis. It was like I came from a different planet than these kids. throw in my natural awkwardness and I was done for. In Third Grade though, the nearest school to ours had been shut down, half the students got sent to our school, the other half to the school on the other area closest (I grew up in a big town, at this time there were 6 or 7 elementary schools operating). So 3rd grade, we didn’t get along. I don’t know why exactly, I think I was trying still to “fit in” with the kids there. But 4th grade, we became friends, and we still are today. So one day, I have my friend to my house to play.
Now, we lived on the open end of a cul-de-sac, so kids were pretty much free to just run around. The chances of cars coming speeding down our street was slim and none. So my friend came over and we played, and had a great time. I don’t remember exactly what we did, it was 4th grade. So probably stuff like tag and whatnot. Anyway, fast-forward to after my friend goes home. A neighborhood mother comes knocking at our door and my mother answers. She wants to talk to my mom about this afternoon. Mind you, we were (as far as 4th graders go) perfectly behaved the whole time. Well, here’s what I remember of the conversation in total, this neighborhood mother informed my mother that I was not allowed to play with her son (1 or 2 years younger than I) anymore, because I was playing with *racist expletive deleted*. After closing the door, my mother had to explain to a very confused 4th grader what that language meant and how that woman was horrible for saying those things.
Now, because of my particular looks, I’ve had to deal with some on and off prejudice myself in life. I’ve been pulled over because police were wondering “If I needed help,” or “If I was lost.” Code for “We didn’t think you belonged here”. I haven’t been oppressed, once they saw my license and whatnot, they changed their tune, which frankly made me feel sick to my stomach. How grotesque of them. Never really been in trouble because of it. Every now and then, people who didn’t know me have given me a “you speak so well” and other microaggressive bullshit. But here’s the thing, my friend I was talking about, I know they’ve dealt with the “You speak so well” bullshit so much. I can’t even count the times people said it to them in front of me. This leads to the other event that really changed me, even if it took me some time to realize how much it truly did.
So one day, this friend says, “I wish I was white.” I forget everything that transpired previously, there were so many things that occurred in our life and times together that it all sort of bunches up, but it happened I remember it clearly. Because that is the thing that resounds to this day. By all measures, based on what the Conservative gas-bags say, this should have never happened. A child, brought up in a stable “nuclear” family. Middle-class, highly intelligent, highly motivated, children should have it easy and shouldn’t have any problems, because you know there’s no such thing as racism, or whatever. But, this is how I know, not think, not believe, there is systemic racism. Now mind you this friend is a qualified success, and top-notch human being, parent, and spouse at this point. Masters degree from an Ivy League Institution, spouse also Ivy League Educated and highly respected in their fields. Amazing person, but still, had to put up with so much shit, over skin color. From ignorant assholes who just would talk shit.
This is how I know racism is a real, systemic thing. It’s not just about overt acts of prejudice, it’s about a lifetime of being worn down, talked down to, and having to stand there and take it all and try and smile, because anything less is met with the most disgusting of violence. For a child/adolescent with so much going for them to say something like that, there must be something motivating a statement like that. This is in the days before equal time was completely erased too, so this isn’t about something someone heard on Fixed News or MSNBC, this is before those channels existed, or were even imagined as possible by most Americans. This was honest, from the heart reaction to having to always put up with people’s bullshit.
I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with anyone. But yes, this is how I know this shit is real, and it really hurts people. Even today, I can’t imagine how hard it must truly be to deal with this on a daily basis. I don’t think I’d have the patience to deal with it on a daily basis. But I try to stand up, get some light shed on this mess, maybe help people come to understanding, and abandon their ways. Because there’s no reason anyone should ever wish they were ever born different from how they were. Good or bad. My friend happens to be an excellent person, from an excellent family. But that doesn’t matter. No one should have extra hardship put on them just because of the circumstances of their birth. It’s such a huge shame on our society, it pervades the entire globe too. National, socioeconomic, religious; racism has no borders, no boundaries. It is everywhere and it needs to be destroyed.
A kid who was taught to face injustice whenever it appears see injustice play out and takes in these lessons and tries hard to make it right. Because that’s the other part of me that I don’t talk about. Everything that I don’t like in my life, every time I feel like I’ve failed, or simply fallen short, I play those moments over in my mind, and wish more than anything to go back and fix it. If I knew then what I knew now, I would have told that neighborhood mom to go fuck herself. I would have been even more vocal from an even younger age. No one should ever have to deal with this mess we’ve created. And the people who are hurt the most by it, they’re NOT TO BLAME. It’s not their fault, and they don’t have to change. The people who are outside, the people who cause it, they have to change. I have to change, it’s why I wish I could go back, and really get right in people’s shitty faces when they were doing shitty things. Too many times I stayed back and was afraid. Even today, there are times I stay silent when I should speak up. Not as often, but it’s not any less shameful. I will fight to improve myself, and I will fight to make the world a less shitty place. Not just for my friends, but for everyone.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 6th What a day!

What an interesting run today. Woke up, went to work, on the way I learned that Eliud Kipcoghe missed a sub 2 hour marathon by just a matter of about 1 second per mile, average. Sure, it was under controlled conditions, in a group, with specially designed shoes. In the end, it was a marketing stunt. But it was still an amazing effort. I don’t even think I can sprint an appreciable distance at 4:35/mi, forget about run that speed for almost 26.2 miles. His average ended up being 4:36/mi. I get that most of this stuff is marketing, and I don’t want to fall for that nonsense. But forget the corporate crap, he still destroyed the current record at the distance, whether it was recognized or not. And apparently they used a drafting formation that hasn’t been done in a race before, per se. Which is interesting, I wonder if the elites may start adopting the wedge drafting formation to try and break records, which gets them more money. They can stay in formation for most of a race, trading spots, and then shoot it out at the end. Could be interesting to see.
After I got home, mind flooded with thoughts regarding the attempt at the unthinkable (please, totally thinkable, but I really think about 2 hours is the max, a few seconds either side). I had a lovely lunch of risotto, then went out and did my own run. I should have taped up my busted toes, but oh well. For a good amount of the run I was just thinking about how on my best days, the guys who ran in Monza this morning were still almost twice as fast as I am. My marathon PR being in the 3:40s (ok ok 3:47:32). I mean what a long way from what the elites do. According to my Athlinks race profile, I’m top 21% in 5k times, yet only top 60% in marathon times. I comfortably do the distance (most of the time) but I just really fall off. I feel like I need to figure that out. Definitely the attempt at a sub 2 hour marathon had me thinking today.
Then for some reason, I ended up thinking about how thirsty recent exes were. I posted both times a couple of them embarrassed themselves on my personal Bookfaces. It’s so strange to me, because I really don’t see myself (most of the time) as anything special at all. But I was just thinking about how dickish of me to not even respond to one of their drunken DMs, and the other one “accidentally” liking a post of mine, then un-liking it. I think this was prompted by the news that two of my very good friends’ divorce was made final, and that apparently my father was divorced again. I literally have one person I wish it didn’t go to hell with in this world. No, it’s nobody you know! Seriously, even those of you who know me pretty damned well.
At the same time, I’m glad I’ve been careful. I’m glad I’ve been very fastidious about wearing protection, wait. Fuck the euphemisms, condoms. I am very good about wearing condoms. Not saying I’ve been perfect about it, but we all make mistakes, and when that mistake has been made, I’ve still been extra careful about other things. More than that, as much as I wish I wasn’t so scared of marriage, relationships in total, and other stuff like that, I’m also glad I haven’t rushed off into something in the way most people do. I’d rather never have kids (even though I totally want to be a dad one day and hopefully have totally weird and happy kids) than rush off and have kids and make their lives miserable because I’m in a shitty relationship with someone. Kids should be given every chance to succeed and be happy, they shouldn’t be something used by parents. That includes someone facing down the start of a “new” decade on the planet. I will remain in no rush and let things happen as they will. Having kids because I feel like I’m under some artificial deadline for such things, imposed by society, is unfair to the kids. That goes against everything I believe in. I guess that’s all getting a little heavy for me right now. At the same time, it’s a small ego boost to know you’re making exes thirsty.
So, I just need to keep my head down, and keep moving forward. There are more important things to worry about than me. I’m not saying I’m not important, but I really don’t have a problem sacrificing myself for the greater good. The fact of the matter is, if we are to accept the alternate timeline/universe theory of things, I’m already dead. Infinite worlds, infinite possibilities, I’m pretty sure in a large portion of those I’m already dead. Of course, with infinity you don’t really get proportion, because it’s infinite. It will keep going. But that’s to say at every Planck time I either exist or I don’t. It’s true for all of us. Basically, everything is, and isn’t, all at once. A constant state of flux. what we experience is the “on” side. There are realities where I am married, have 17 kids, rule the world, and some where I died while writing this very post. But I can’t concern myself with those (for now, working on the calculus) and can only be focused on what I know here and now, and where I am here and now. Keep fighting for what’s right, Do what I can, when I can, and laugh as much as possible.
I know, right, laugh. Well today it’s just over those two sad sacks. That may be evil of me, it’s possible. But I don’t think so. Not like I’m some model, or business mogul, or athletic wonder, or amazing talent. No one special here, nothing to worry about, nothing to see here, keep moving. But still. Definitely gave me a smile, and lightened my load today when my legs were pretty tired, and my toes started hurting.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 5th Change of ideas

OK, I’m moving to a different running schedule for the month of May. I have to, my time is going to be pretty short for the first three weeks of the month. So I made up for missing out on Tuesday. Foot is feeling good. No pain, discomfort, or worrying feelings with it. Even though I am still trying to stay off the outside of my foot for now. I was groggy, exhausted even. Between the bullshit politics happening the world, and US right now. All these fucking fascist assholes popping up. Also the fact I drank a bit during the United match last night…ha…I was pretty run down this morning. So I just took it easy and let my body dictate the pace.
Speaking of politics, good news, someone apparently threw an egg at Marine LePen in France. It looks like it missed a bit and ended up only splashing her a bit, shame that. I think we need to throw more food at these people, rotten food of course, nothing fresh. That would be wasteful. But honestly, they’re trash and should be put out with the rest of the refuse. Garbage ideas are garbage ideas, that’s the way it is.
Speaking of garbage ideas, those monstrous shitheads in the US passed their “Obamacare repeal” bill in the House. Now, the Senate and that turtle piece of shit already said they will write their own bill, but here’s what happened. The party who, for my entire life, has been harping about “How much will it cost?” Just basically passed a bill the same as the one they couldn’t even bring to a vote a couple weeks ago. How do I know, when the text of the bill isn’t even completed? Because what else could it be? Only a little more draconian, but they claim they put in an $8 billion “high risk pool” for people with pre-existing conditions. So basically, if you’ve already been seriously ill, you MIGHT be able to get coverage, it will still cost more, but you MAY get a small subsidy someday. We know the old bill would have seen 24 million people lose coverage. But we have no idea about this one, because they didn’t even wait for the Congressional Budget Office to look at the costs and the impact. The “How much will it cost” people have NO IDEA how much it’ll cost! How sickening is that?
So they have shown, definitively, they do not care about costs, they do not care about impact, they do not care about what’s best for the American people, or any people. They care about their own bottom lines, they care about their investors…I’m sorry, did I say “investors?” I mean donors, but really at this point investor is a better term, isn’t it? Money needs to get the fuck out of politics. Politics needs to get the fuck out of politics. What do I mean? These people are so subscribed to their philosophy, which of course justifies their treatment of people. They don’t question anything about themselves, they don’t question the pain they cause. It’s the party line. It’s what they read in some Ayn Rand shitfest (her books are garbage). To them, they honestly believe poverty is the fault of the poor, because they’ve never even seen the real situation. They’ve been told by Rash Loofa, George Buck, Ronnie Raygun, what it’s like. They cling so desperately to the myth of the “Welfare Queen” the “Lazy Taker Drug Addict”. They believe it so much, they make up stories in their heads, about the time they witnessed it. It’s all a bunch of bullshit. How do I know they haven’t witnessed it, because it literally doesn’t exist. The very few instances of actual fraud in the system are hyped beyond hyperbole.
We need to get to a place where our laws and rules come from a reasonable place. Where we understand that the old ways of thinking were wrong. There is almost nothing good, when it comes to governance and economy, to take from the past. The philosophies they are based off of are inherently flawed. How can you say that the United States Government was founded perfectly, when the same men writing “All men are created equal” were owning other men, women, and children? Obviously, there is a major flaw there in whatever they come up with. How can you reconcile the two ideas? And how can you reconcile that we still keep those human beings back, hold them down, because our system requires poverty, because wealth and poverty are relative. So we started a competition, and prohibited some people from participating, because we decided they weren’t people. Then when we they forced us to let them start competing, we still put every road block in their way, and still do. Then the politicians and most of the people have the unmitigated gall to ask them, “Why can’t you catch up?”
That’s what this healthcare vote is, for everyone who was delayed in starting, and everyone who simply can’t compete as well, it’s these millionaire assholes in Congress (check it, most of them are millionaires) saying, “Well, fuck you if you can’t catch up.” Fuck them, seriously, just fuck them. Fuck them, fuck Donnie, fuck Pence. If they do know what they are doing, then they are evil, and shouldn’t be allowed to do it. If they don’t know what they are doing, then they are ignorant, and should not be allowed to do what they are doing. Not just healthcare, but everything. Racism, sexism, poverty, healthcare, foreign policy, it’s all such a clusterfuck. Both parties have their problems, but one side, the GOP, is MUCH worse. Do I agree with, or like either, no. Do I think we need to completely change the way we do things, yes. But we have to get rid of the worst of it now, and then hammer out the rest. Short of a full-on revolution, which will just create a vacuum which will bring in some other tyrant. History shows us that will be the case. But these anti-science, anti-humanity, anti-earth ignoramuses must go, and now.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

May 4th Still have so much distance to travel

OK, get the running stuff out of the way today, because something has bothered me so very much today. I ran yesterday, I ran today. My foot is holding together. I barely even bled today, so toes are healing and running is not putting undue stress on the injury. I’m taking it easy, and slow. May is going to be a crazy month for me, it is exam time in my profession, so we have lots to do.
But let’s get into the shit today. Because I saw something, and I don’t give service to every shitty meme and reddit I see. If I did, I’d never be happy, and I’d never have time for anything else. But this was so abhorrent, I had to take some time with it. It absolutely dominated my thoughts while running today. I warn everyone, what I am about to post is sick. From here on out, I am not going to be very kind at all, and the actual thread, the things this guy says, it’s horrible, it’s misogyny, bad parenting, incestuous, and everything terrible pretty much rolled up into one. I want to discuss this, because the person worded it in such a way, which gives me a wonderful chance to show anyone, once and for all, this line of thinking, these ideas, ARE COMPLETELY BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE LESS OF A HUMAN BEING FOR HOLDING THEM. Yes, all caps, I want to be clear there, I want to leave no doubt. So, let’s begin; first, the offending screenshot:

OK Fucknut, you asked for those who read to “think about this logically.” So let’s do exactly fucking that. Not because you DESERVE people honoring your requests, but because it doesn’t even come close to holding up logically. We’re going to state his argument clearly first, because I want to tear this thing down brick by perfidious brick. I understand argument does not work with these people, they have their minds made up, but fuck this guy.

Fucknut’s argument:
definition of “cuckhold”- A man who raises other men’s children unknowingly. Derived from the cuckoo, a bird who lays eggs in other birds’ nests, and those birds raise the cuckoo chicks at the expense of their own, often. For purposes here, I believe we can all agree then, that the idea is some creature who does the work of child rearing, yet receives no benefit thereof.
Premises
1. Parenting is a job which one should reap some sort of reward or benefit from.
2. That benefit gained is inherently tied to the utility of your child.
3. The job of parenting involves taking care of a child’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being during their early life, and ends (implied) at a specified time, usually around 18-20 years after the birth of said child.
4. A parent should not have sexual relationships with their children.
5. The only value of a female is as a sexual object.
Conclusion: As women are only useful for sexual gratification of men, the parent has exerted energy for their term, and since they cannot benefit from using the female in the only way a female can be used, they gain no benefit and therefore as a “cuckhold”.

Now, I’ve never been a parent, but I’m a damned good uncle. So let’s sit down, and as sickening as it is, tear it apart, logically.
The definition is what it is, but the idea is manifestly idiotic. The idea of the “traditional family”, a mother, father, raising children together is fairly new. It has only ever, truly applied to middle-class Europeans. The upper-class has always had someone else rear their children and the lower classes depend on each other. Anyone else not touched by theological dogma has always looked to those in the community to help. Whether for economic, historic, sociological reasons. The simple fact is, humans are social creatures and have always raised children, more or less, in a communal fashion. Yes, the biological parents have always had a more prominent role, and are required to do most of the work, but overall, the community has always had a role to play. So, on its face, the idea of a “cuckhold” is ridiculous. Ensuring the next generation learns and grows is a natural act, and as no man or woman are an island unto themselves, we all share in the responsibility. And we become better when we share our expertise regardless of blood ties.
Onto premise one. Parenting as an economic transaction. Once again, I’m not a parent, but please allow me the opportunity to try this one. Based on my observations the purpose of parenting is to continue, and improve the species. Whether we’re talking bacterium in a petri dish or human beings, biology comes down to reproduction and evolution, creating the most survivable offspring you can. Let’s momentarily ignore the add-on human complexities, money, property, etc. Let us even cast aside biological difference, height, metabolism, or any physical nonsense like that. What does survivability mean for a human being? Our technology has so far surpassed nature, we all have a pretty good shot at long term survival, as long as we have access to it. We don’t all have to be good hunters, or fishermen, or farmers anymore. The only thing the majority of people need to do is be decent enough to recognize everyone should have access to penicillin so they don’t die of easily treatable illness, for example.
Individually as a parent you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be proud, you’ll be angry, you’ll have fear, you’ll trust, whatever emotions you end up feeling, let’s face it, parenting, like everything else, is a roller coaster. So, is there a reward? I’m told there is, but it seems to be something esoteric. Clearly, there is no prize to parenting, where you are rewarded with money, lands, resources, or wealth in any respect.
In regard to premise two, and the above stated argument that parenting doesn’t present some concrete reward; again it’s not a job where when your child grows up they owe you something. Now if you, and society, has done a good job, your child will recognize the value in helping others and will reward you with their continued presence and in what capacity they can. This is not tied to their usefulness as a person though. A good person  will do what they can when they can, and that’s it. But their value isn’t based on any metric of their utility for you or anyone else. I will not begin a discussion on individual value, but it is worth noting that all people have a value and deserve dignity.
Number three, parenting is a lifelong process. From the moment your first child is born, until (hopefully) you die, even after that. Your impact on your child(ren) stays until they die. While you may never be credited for it, what you pass on as a parent, may stay for generations to come. So there is no specified time of parenting.
Premise four is the only one which stands against scrutiny. Frankly, it’s a given. Biology tells us it’s a very bad idea. I don’t think I need to explain this any further. If you disagree, I absolutely have moral judgements to make about you, and none of them are good.
And the final twig trying so mightily to hold up the lead weight that is this whole sickening display, women are not, were not, and never will be solely for sexual fulfillment, child-bearing, or any of this other nonsense. Women have all the same skills, capabilities, and capacities of any man. The superficial biological differences are purely for reproduction e purpose, and thanks to technology, can be eliminated. I can sit here all day citing examples of equality, and sometimes even female supremacy.
And so, having looked at this logically, the person who wrote this is just garbage. The argument is garbage, and he’s an idiot for thinking it. It’s ok to entertain dumb ideas. It’s not ok to try and spread them. I hope this person is not a parent, and learns better before becoming one. Life is not a business transaction. People are not commodities. Women are not playthings. People have value whether they are useful to you or not.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

Apr 28th All Clear!

Today was a much better run. I mean generally, I was feeling a little more tired, but no poo problems and everything else worked out. What I did today overall though was actually a little special, not completely amazing, but a little special. I topped 6,000 miles since I started running! Today’s run also put me back on track for this month’s training schedule, I just need 5 miles by Monday morning.
So that’s it, since 2012 I have traveled 6,004 miles as of today. As of June, that’s 5 years. At my current mileage average I should hit 10,000 miles by the end of 2020. I will have to see what happens though, because you never know.
I’m just checking in tonight, I need sleep, badly. So I will talk to you all soon, I promise! May Day is coming on Monday!

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

Apr 27th Cutting it short

Today I was struck by the most feared enemy of the long-distance runner…INTESTINAL DISTRESS! No seriously, yes I giggle like a 12 year-old when it comes to poop, but it was bad today. I had everything go well before the run. Woke up, had breakfast, went to the bathroom, like clockwork. Everything felt good, and all was running smoothly, and about mid-way through it just hit. I had to walk most of the last two miles, out of fear. Yes, THAT fear! I even cut the run half a mile short of where I wanted to be for the day. It’s another holiday weekend here and I don’t want to spend all my time running.
It is late here, I had much to do after the run today, so I left this until tonight. After the run, I did what the intestinal distress demanded I do. Then showered, shaved, and ran off to get my hairs cut. Yes, I get more than one cut! By then it was a matter of throwing lunch together and getting out the door for work. Worked, stopped at the store on the way to the train, watched a very boring Manchester Derby while I made dinner, and now I have a minute.
But listen, the whole intestinal distress thing, it’s funny but it’s no joke. Be careful out there if things are off, you can do damage to yourself. You can cause an injury if you try to run faster than you should due to circumstances. There’s always a lot that can happen on a run. So always listen to your body during training. PRs are for races, for controlled conditions, the world of training is (for non-elite athletes) a (no pun intended) crap-shoot. Just do what you can, and if you can’t perform that day, so be it. Make the miles count, don’t just count the miles! What I did was try to make the last however long into a tempo run. As fast as I could run for as far as I could run basically. It didn’t work great, but it worked a little.
So just do what you can, it doesn’t have to be something overly heroic. We’re not out competing for market share, endorsement deals or any of that nonsense. We’re out to make ourselves healthier, and to be better than we were the day before. I’ve touched on that a million times. It’s all about being better than you were yesterday. Whether we’re talking running, or in life. The only person we should ever be in competition with is ourselves. This is the problem with almost the entire world. Everyone is looking to beat the person next to them, and it trips everyone up. It slows everyone down and it kills us. Literally, given we are in the 6th major extinction event, this may kill us all. The only person you should every try to beat, is the person you were yesterday. Any other view of the world turns into domination, which turns into oppression, and then whomever ends up “in control” (which there is no control) positions the rules to perpetuate the oppression ad infinitum.
Look to yourself, control yourself. That’s it. That’s all there is. The rest of the world is as it is. The appearance of human “control” over any of this is a matter of illusion and causes us to hurt each other. You can only control yourself, and your reactions to things. We try and control nature, and we make species go extinct. We try and control our made up idea of wealth and we oppress others with racism, sexism, and all manner of bigotry. The only thing any person can ever hope to be a master of is themselves. That is the only wealth worth owning, being in control of yourself, being in control of your own life. Even if you attain that ideal, there is no extending outward from there. Yes, there are wrong actions in this world which require extreme reactions from all of us. Sometimes we must instruct others in ways which make the message very clear that their action was unacceptable. But we still have no control over them in the end. We can only hope we instruct them to improve themselves, and cease the action which is unacceptable.
It may be possible to remove that person completely from society. But I think that should be a rare instance. It’s very difficult to get through to so many, but once the ideas of modern wealth are destroyed, I think it will become easier. Once an understanding is in place, that this system was set up by one particular class of people, from one particular geographic location, and was set up to only serve them, and participation in that system will always yield the same results, to the benefit of the same people, I think it will become easier to instruct all but the most stubborn of those among us. At which point, removing them from participation in a just and equal society will become a simple matter.
Maybe I watched too much Star Trek as a kid. But I really believe all this. There are already so many out there who already understand this, and unfortunately they are mostly the ones who are designed to be the outsiders in the current system. They are ignored and dismissed by so many people who buy into the current insanity of the world. So many who participate in a system designed to keep them down, yet also designed to keep the people who already understand the underlying truth as scapegoats. As targets for the pawns. To keep the workers distracted and divided, so they don’t ever question the dominance of the rulers.
Anyway, I have to head to bed, have lots of miles to put in tomorrow! Hope this makes enough sense tonight, and gets you a little uncomfortable, and maybe helps you think about how you can improve. Some of you reading, don’t have to improve, some of you are of that outsider caste, and I’m sorry for that.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

Apr 25th Happy Liberation Day (kind of)

A beautiful day! It’s a holiday here, Liberation Day, where they celebrate the North expelling the Nazis from their lands. The South had been cleaned of Nazis in 1943, but you know, they don’t want people to know that the South of Italy sometimes has its shit together. Yes Allied forces were needed, but no one down here was in love with what was happening. Generations of stealing the wealth of the South left this area poorly and unable to fight for themselves. But anyway, I took advantage of the day off and ran more than my usual. The only fault of the day is a little cloud cover would have been nice for the run. Other than that, it was perfect. Well, less people on the Lungomare, but that’s not the day’s fault!
Thinking about “Liberation Day” and all the bullshit with the Piedmont Rulers stealing the land down here and the wealth, the subsequent violence and exodus, the generations of keeping the South under their thumb, and I just keep thinking, how much we need to knock all this crap off. These same bandits, or their proxies gallivant across the Earth pulling this shit. Finding resources, stealing wealth, oppressing the people, making them work for practically nothing, or sometimes actually nothing. Meanwhile they funnel all the wealth they can into their own coffers. They sell us this lie that this is the way it’s supposed to be, that we can’t be trusted to look after ourselves, to be responsible. Depending on the circumstances of your birth you are given different levels of autonomy.
I have said many times over, this is not what life is supposed to be. I have said, Europeans and those of European descent have to change how they view the world. They have to understand that they have not stopped treating the world the way they scoff at and deride their predecessors when they learn about the colonialism of the “past”. The only difference now is that people are given the illusion of choice. The people running things make it look like those who are being exploited have somehow chosen their exploitation. “Well, they voted for such and such”. You know they didn’t. Firstly, most people don’t go out and vote. Those who are inclined to do so in these banana republics are dissuaded, blocked, silenced, or outright killed.
Why do I talk about this so much? You may ask yourself. Well for one, it’s the right thing to do. You should not be comfortable, nor complacent about how the world is running. You should be asking yourself if you should be able to sleep at night with all this bullshit happening. You should not. It’s the right thing, because all people are my family. No one should work in bondage in “artisanal” mines (no joke, that’s what they call them) just so the price of an iPhone stays below $700! The raw material mining for most modern conveniences is absolutely disgusting. In the end, most of that money isn’t even staying in the countries where the materials are being removed from. Yep, there’s a hypocrisy to me typing this out on a practically new computer. Makes me a little sick thinking about it. But, I have to get the message out there. But I do what I can, and honestly that was the most upsetting part about getting robbed. Knowing I had to buy new things that were causing other people so much pain in this world.
This is not what we are supposed to be doing. I see pictures from Hubble, from telescopes all over the world. I read about all the NASA and ESA missions I can. I’ve said many times, we are supposed to be explorers, we’re supposed to discover everything we can about the Universe. We are the Universe, looking in on itself. Yet we can’t get past treating each other like garbage. The really sad part of that is, it’s a learned behavior, a behavior we started ourselves. In that there is one group that is responsible for a vast majority of this learned behavior, and they’re the ones who must change. Yes, European peoples all over the world. That is where it begins. Because as nice as it is we talk about going to Mars, returning to the Moon, maybe finding life of Europa, or Io, or Titan the fact is we will stay as small, petty, and inconsequential as we act towards each other. If we really want to do great things, stop trying to conquer, stop thinking your idea is better, stop thinking you know better. Move forward, with everyone.
I get that people buy into the bullshit that people can’t be trusted with their own autonomy. That this is the best way, and simply some people don’t “measure up”. OK, look at it this way. In the current system, let’s say we wipe the whole slate clean, no inheritance, no debt. Everyone is given the same education, everyone is treated 100% equally no matter their identity in any way, shape, or form. Let’s just say that’s the case. Everyone is working the same amount, regardless of their employment position. What is the virtue of a CEO making thousands times more money than the person cleaning the garbage bins. Also, how do you determine who gets what job? This system is set up so that the people who always had power’s offspring stay in power. Occasionally, people are allowed to advance in the system, but for the most part people work their whole lives and never get any further than their parents did, or grandparents, or great-grandparents.
As long as we keep this status quo, we will never get anywhere, because most people are required to stay focused on what is right in front of them. Most people have to live paycheck-to-paycheck, or week-to-week, or day-to-day, some even hour-to-hour, because of the miserable circumstance someone else is profiting off of. I guarantee, not only have people smarter than Einstein lived and died throughout human history, but they have since he has died. We will never know these people, they weren’t born into a situation where their minds were allowed to flourish, allowed to achieve the greatness they absolutely deserved. Only because we have a system which does not normally reward intelligence, hard-work, or any of the other crap we are told it does. Our system rewards the circumstances of your birth. Sometimes it rewards those circumstances more heavily than others, but all the same the way we proceed is completely ludicrous.
If we don’t give everyone an opportunity to express themselves, how can we ever progress? Perhaps, on a long enough time line, but time is looking decidedly compact for humanity at this point. Without a major change, I doubt we can meet the challenges which are going to come upon us much sooner than anyone has predicted. Until we change the way we do things, punishing people for not looking a certain way, praying a certain way, loving a certain way, or whatever division we’ve created for ourselves. Until we give back everything we’ve stolen from all over and truly bring forth a just and equitable society, we are doomed. No doubt about it.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

Apr 22nd A very busy Earth Day

And busy it was indeed. March for Science happened. Scientists felt they had to march to protest funding cuts, this is how bad shit is getting. I had to work this morning, then I ran, and run I did. I slowed down a lot the last 4 miles, but I was just tired, having serious trouble focusing, and wasn’t feeling motivation. With no big races on the schedule, I spent most of the run wondering what the hell I was doing. I may stop the semi-regular long runs and just taper for the next time I sign up for a marathon or such. I will have to decide in the next few weeks.
Politics is, of course, pissing me off. Chaffetz, the shithead that investigated Benghazi 8 times, 8 fucking times, yet refuses to investigate Russia’s ties to the US election is announcing he will retire. Now, I want to know why he’s retiring, but I will wait to get evidence, I don’t care for conjecture. Some are saying he took $10 million in laundered money from Russia, some are saying he’s sleeping around on his wife and it’s about to come out that he’s just as big a shitbag as so many of these “family values” fucknuts. It will come out, his supporters won’t care. But this is why people need to get out and vote. There should be huge organizing efforts to get everyone registered, with proper whatever they need in their State, while voter-ID laws, and gerrymandering are being fought in court. You can do more than one thing at a time. Il Douchey (see what I did there?), who most likely committed treason to get where he is, is now whining that the media is still being unfair to him and polls are fake. Because he’s coming up on the end of his first 100 days of occupying an office he doesn’t deserve, and he’s done nothing note-worthy. But the shitheads in the Senate rammed through the fucking joke that is Neil Gorsuch, and he made sure Arkansas was able to murder someone last night who never received due process.
It’s fucking disgusting that the United States still views murdering people as an acceptable punishment. Ignoring the utter hypocrisy of the situation, let’s talk about the fact, not the opinion, the fact that human beings make mistakes. There are, there have been, and there will continue to be innocent people in jails. There are, there have been, there will be innocent people convicted of murders. If you take their lives, guess the fuck what? If we are a country which values voting, and which is governed by the peoples themselves, then each time the State murders someone, you are responsible for it. Let’s not even touch on the disgusting racial element to this, in that you see a clearly inequitable distribution of the administering of the Murder Penalty upon people of color. As with all punishments in our criminal punishment system. It’s hardly just.
Then we should probably mention for four days in a row Russia has violated US Airspace with fucking nuclear capable bombers, and that orange fuckwit has not said a word. So many people need to go fuck themselves at this point. Particularly the guy on the interwebs, on a hardcore band’s website who tried to troll me when I shit on Donnie Pee-Party’s picture of who’s who of who cares, by calling me a “Marxist.” I am in a way, a communist (not a Communist, there’s a difference). But I understand, and have said on many occasions that this world will not be repaired by any of the old ways of thinking, all the old philosophies are necessarily flawed, and will cause undue strife. But let’s just say, for argument’s sake, I was a Marxist, why would I be offended at someone calling me a Marxist? That I know what Marx’s philosophy was, and that I have serious problems with much of it, yet I also understand it’s not inherently evil, or shameful, it’s just horribly flawed because it’s based on “science” and ideas which have been debunked for decades, I still am not shamed, or offended in being called a Marxist. The other possibility, and what this shitbag was going for, was that I was just as uneducated as he was and I didn’t know what Marxism actually is, and just bought all the brainwashing nonsense about it being shameful and evil like “all forms of Communism”. Too bad for him.
But that’s what the “Right” does now. Look at this turd, Alex fucking Jones. This motherfucker has the brass balls to say of his divorce and custody battle, “Respect my family in this time”. Hey, fuckface, you sat on your radio program, and have blasted out on you website about how “Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting was a hoax, a false flag.” Well, it wasn’t. You know how I KNOW this? I am from Connecticut, and (hard to believe) I’m a friendly guy. I know people who had kids in that school. I don’t know anyone who lost a child thankfully, I can only imagine the hell they must be in, seeing the hurt and trouble those who didn’t lose children go through. You have no respect for these people, even if you are “playing a character”. You are profiting off their pain, and you are causing them more pain. Your followers still harass these people, claiming they never had a child, or their child is still alive, all sorts of nonsense. You’re a giant piece of shit. I hope your wife gets EVERYTHING. I hope you NEVER see your children again. I hope you die penniless in a gutter. I always give something to those who need help when I can, but if I saw you on the street, just for this, I would actually spit on you, you disingenuous Nazi shit.
That’s the thing, I don’t care if you’re a true-believer fascist scumbag, or just along for the ride to make a buck. In fact, the ones just out to make a buck like Axle Johnson, Tammy Longreen, or that horrible Alice Cloister are even worse. I really didn’t even understand the real danger until it was too late, and I’m usually pretty good about understanding the dangers in time.  I had taken it for granted that those really fascist pricks had taken themselves out of the voting pool and would remain there. Can never make that mistake again for sure. But all this needs to end and it needs to end before 2018. So we really have to start putting pressure on Congress to do their jobs, there are 4, maybe 5 ways this shithead has violated his Oath of Office, and Pence is right there with him. Pretty sure Ryan and McConnell are complicit as well. This fight needs to happen and soon.
It all just makes me angry, I’ve been trying to just keep to myself on it and do what I can, but it really has been eating at me recently. Other things were getting to me today too. The fact that I just don’t do the work I need to do to get myself in better shape for running. I should be doing 15-30 minutes a day of some sort of upper body and core exercises. I really hate it that my last two companions (who the fuck am I, Doctor Who?) have not only been “ok” with the mess that is my upper body, but they have actively tried to keep it the way it is. If I say, “I’m not happy with this, because it is negatively affecting my life, because I do not feel healthy and well with it.” I don’t need to hear that you don’t mind or you think it’s cute or whatever. I need to hear that I was heard, and that I will be supported in my efforts to make a positive change that I have expressed I want to make. I don’t want anyone to feel bad about this, but it was really pissing me off. As long as someone is healthy, it’s not about looks, it’s about if they are happy or not. I am not happy with my upper body. I need to really get focused on that.
Wow, there were lots of bad things in my head today, and I haven’t even touched on all of them. Sometimes you have to let it out though, I think it’s that I have been so intermittent with my long runs, that this stuff has built up inside of me. I truly do hope we can make substantive change before it’s too late, I hope it’s not too late already. But the slower I see things moving the angrier I become. These fucking idiots worrying about their “bottom line” and treating government like a business are just the worst, and are a real danger to our survival. People who deny racism, who deny misogyny, who deny bigotry, those who only concern themselves with profit and domination, these people are the problem. They need to be stopped, and we are definitely running out of time.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

Apr 20th What’s with this weather?

Seriously, it’s like Spring in New England here for some reason. It was cold this morning, and super windy again, but I got my 5 miles in. Didn’t have my phone with me, because it was loading up music. As my headphone connector I ordered came in, and my USB-c to USB connector. As well as my Bluetooth speaker, which for a €40 speaker is amazing. A little heavy on the bass, but in a big room it should sound great. I’ll write up a full review after I run it through a whole cycle, hit all different situations.
Meanwhile, last night had a really bad nightmare, and I think it’d worth sharing with everyone. I usually ignore my nightmares, I have them so frequently. But I actually think this one is worth analyzing. It was fairly troubling for me, and unlike most of my nightmares ended with my death, I think. At the very least, the thought that I could not possibly survive what had happened. For those who don’t know, my dreams are always very vivid, and fairly scary most of the time, very infrequently are they sexual in nature, or even anything nice. Although, I find living in Italy the more nightmarish aspects have gone to the wayside most of the time. But let’s get into this one particular one.
So it starts nice enough, a friend of mine from elementary school and I are walking through the streets of our city. We are having a conversation about all manner of social justice issues. My friend and I, in reality and in the dream, are in almost perfect agreement in a wide range of issues. So far, so good, perfectly pleasant right?
As we get to the main intersection in the downtown area, a van pulls up in front of us, blocking traffic in all directions and a European male jumps out with a bomb vest on and an automatic weapon, starts screaming about how everyone better freeze where they are and shut up and listen to him. Obviously, the scene is chaos at this point, and eventually he gets the crowd under control. My friend and I, being on the opposite side of the van, decide it is a good idea to crouch behind the engine as it should probably protect us from any shrapnel when this guy decides to blow himself up.
He starts his manifesto, and we’re listening to thus nonsense, and he starts changing into all these different ethnicities as he’s going, but the speech never changes, it stays the same. He keeps cycling through as he talks about all this conspiracy theory nonsense about Rothschilds and chemtrails and vaccines, and all this other shit, and it’s shit.
At some point my friend decides she has to get to the other side of the street. Not to stop him, just needs to cross the street. I tell her I’ll stay behind the van, and I think it’s a bad idea that she try, but not to worry, I’ll get her back if anything happens. So as soon as she appears he flips out and tackles her.
I of course come out to save my friend and she had this strange taser-like device she’s using on him and wrestles the gun he has away from him and keeps zapping as I’m running in to restrain him. Just as I’m about to get there, she stops, looks at me and smiles this really evil grin, and he looks at me with the same look (at this point he looks like Uncle Ruckus from The Boondocks) and pulls a handgun from his vest and empties the damned clip into my chest and stomach.
Now, I said I dream vividly, and there was real pain there. As I write it, I feel ghost pain again honestly, it hurt. Having never been shot, I’m sure it doesn’t compare, but there was a searing, sharp pain where I dreamt the bullets struck me. As hard as I tried to reach for the weapon, I couldn’t, the pain stopped me. And as I thought to myself, “there’s no way I can live through this.” I hear them laugh and I wake up.
As far as “mighty morphin’ terrorist” goes I think that’s just my mind reminding me that all terrorists, no matter where they’re from, or what their experience, or background, where they’re born, what their religion is, are all the same. They all believe themselves just, righteous patriots hell-bent on making things the way they believe it should be, without regard, or care for anyone or anything else. A very imperialistic world view.
The whole thing seems pretty straightforward to me honestly. I don’t mean to hurt or alienate any of my friends. I don’t wish anyone take this personally, but the other part, my friend apparently betraying me; I think that is a manifestation of the fear I have that when it comes down to it in the end, everyone has a price. It’s paranoia. It scares me, I am aware of it. I don’t let it control me, but it is there. I have no reason to have it. Every time the situation has been really dire, I’ve always been able to count on certain  people. Sure, some people have abandoned me in times of great need. But my real friends are always there just like they know I’m there for them. No matter what though, I can never rid myself of this fear.
As I said, no one should take that personally, I’m not “vague-booking” (would it be “vague-blogging”) anyone here. I’m not calling anyone out. I’m saying I struggle from time to time with these feelings, and I think this is where this particular nightmare stems from.
I often worry about mental illness. I’m not psychiatrist or psychologist, but I have seen enough family members struggle so mightily with daily life. I see people on the street yelling at imaginary beasts and imaginary people and think about how easily that could be me,or someone I know. I constantly am looking at what I’m thinking and acting and questioning if I am exhibiting any symptoms I need to worry about. Most of the time, I’m happy to report that no, I don’t feel I should be worried.
What is all this good for? I keep myself reminded that if I feel I need help, or if others express real concern and suggest I need help, that I will seek it. I will not ignore it, or be too complacent with the idea nothing is wrong, or think I can handle it. I say that now, but I wonder if I were really having a problem, would I be able to recognize it? The good news is, I don’t feel a stigma in talking about these things. I don’t allow vanity, pride, fear or whatever get in the way of saying that there is nothing wrong with seeking help with any illness.

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!