I had a dream

No seriously. Talk about that in a minute. Been getting my running in. Ran on the Ides of March! Nobody stabbed me. Got 5 very sore and tired miles in today as well. I was thinking, coming up on 6 years since I landed myself in the hospital, about the very first time I went 5 km in this current iteration of life. It was my second recorded workout ever. June 29, 2012, 50 minutes to carry myself 5 km. A good day, on a good course, I can get that down to almost 20 minutes now. Can I still do more, be better, be more fit? Yes, and I need to motivate myself to get there, but no matter what, I’ve already come a very long way.
I think about my friends who are fighting their own battles, people I don’t even know dealing with whatever they need to deal with, when it comes to health. Remember, I never did any of this to be thin and good-looking (good thing too! haha), I did all this to be healthy. It doesn’t matter what shape or form healthy takes, healthy is healthy. Healthy isn’t a number on a scale, or a piece of clothing. Healthy isn’t what people say or think about how you look. Healthy isn’t about people taking pictures of you, healthy isn’t about praise, or validation. Healthy is about your body functioning the way your body should function. Every body is different, while there are a set of parameters, people function their best within a broad range in there. It’s not just about working out, or dieting, or whatever, it’s about doing everything, living a healthy life. It’s all encompassing. We’re not just a stomach, we’re not just muscles and fat, we’re not just bones and teeth, we’re blood, we’re a mind, we’re everything that makes us ourselves.
That’s why I led with the fact I had a dream last night. I don’t think dreams mean much overall. When I do dream, I have some really vivid, mess-up things happening. Most of the time it’s actually fairly scary, it’s why I don’t like or watch horror films. But, the mind needs to dream, it’s part of the resting process, and I haven’t dreamed (dreamt if you’re British) in ages that I could remember. This is important, because for me, knowing myself as I do, this is a good indicator of health. Even though my dreams may often be unhealthy expressions of fears and anxiety, having dreams means my mind is functioning in a healthy manner. It is what is “good” and “normal” for me. Not everyone remembers their dreams, I’m not saying if you usually don’t there’s something wrong with you, I’m saying for me, this is normal and it should happen on a regular basis. So I’m excited that I had a dream, and best of all, it was actually a rather nice one.
So even though I was physically tired on my run today, overall I felt good. It helps that the weather is beautiful here. (Here comes the part I make all the East Coast US people completely jealous) It’s been Sunny, mid 50s, low 60s (13-16), the breeze has been light and it’s just beautiful. I have my windows open today, no heat, no AC. I’m just going to have some lunch and enjoy what more of this day I can before I have to go to work. Some days, with all in this world which needs to be fixed, we just have to appreciate the small victories, as to not become overwhelmed by the bullshit. Which I totally schooled someone on “enumerated powers” of the (US) Constitution earlier today too. Alright

Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!

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