Great run today, you can’t control anything
Today was one of those days where things just clicked, for the most part. The plan was to do 6.2 miles (10km), but then as I was running down the road to Barletta, I realized, I could just run to the SS16 underpass and back and hit my 6.2. As I neared the underpass, I thought, “I’m feeling pretty good, let’s do more.” So I determined to turn around at 4, which gives me 8 miles when I get back to my apartment, or I can turn toward the cathedral and go around the port to the lungomare, and back to make 10. That’s what ended up happening.
For the first time in some time I felt good physically while running. That’s an important distinction. For a bit I had felt bad both physically and mentally. The other day when I posted again, I felt great mentally, but physically I still felt awful. Today was good. All around. I started thinking about how prepared I am for next Saturday. What I need to focus on, can I PR? Am I ready for that sort of effort, physically and mentally. My shorter training runs say I can, my long runs say I lack the discipline. I haven’t given a good look to the course elevation map. I have very good knowledge of the course from Barletta to Trani, but know nothing of most of the race. Trani to Giovinazzo is a mystery to me. I imagine it will be fairly similar. Most everything here is a gently rolling coastline. Nothing severe. So I will see during the week, and maybe I can manage a PR, and maybe not. Most of that comes down to focus for me. But my ten miles today was strong. I was close to 7.5 miles at 1 hour. But then there’s weather conditions, how I’m feeling that day, how I fuel. So much goes into it. I can’t worry too much. I think, as of now, I’ll shoot for my 3:45 improvement goal and just see how things unfold. Constantly traveling South means in there is a wind coming from the South it may undermine me. Let’s hope for the best.
It’s funny, as much thought as I’m putting into this, and all week I’ve been giving my students progress tests and telling them not to stress them. That they are only for me to look at and see what we need to work on more and so I have something to talk to their parents about if they come to the Parent-Teacher conference thing we have to do all next week. At the same time though, I don’t worry too much when the day arrives. I accept my results as they come and I understand some days I will hug the bear, and some days the bear will hug me (no not in THAT sense!). I do mean that in the traditional sense of the saying.
Which is something else I’ve been thinking about, I’m a euro, cis-gendered, straight, male. I try to keep things neutral because I think some of the things I have to say, most of the things I have to say, apply to everyone. But the fact is that sometimes they don’t. Because I come from a position of privilege, even if I was economically disadvantaged growing up, and continue to be to this day, simply because I refuse to enforce my “whiteness” or my “maleness” or anything else. It’s this weird thing I have. But even in my job which I have now, in this country. In general (there are exceptions), if I weren’t euro in lineage, I could not teach English. That’s a problem. It’s not uniquely American, it’s worldwide. Yasiin Bey (Mos Def) has a song about it, it’s true everywhere. It’s a system, meant to take from some and give to others.
I speak about the American experience, because that is what I’m used to, that is what I experienced. But as I’m here and I see more and more, I see that it really is everywhere and it’s not just an American thing. I always understood on some level, but as I gain more experience here and meet with generally well-meaning people, with very strange views of certain things, I realize how serious of a problem white-supremacy is. There is, around the world, a system set to benefit those of European descent above all others. People look at the supposed “liberal” European democracies and say, “But they allow this and that.” But the fact remains the system still favors those who look the part. It truly is stunning, and concerning to really start to realize how deeply ingrained the issue is.
So, yes, it all needs to be brought down, the system needs to be discarded and replaced with something which serves all creatures. Not just humans, we need to look at the whole Earth, and all its denizens as our family, and treat them accordingly. We need to stop worrying so much about the artificial boundaries and systems we put on ourselves, we need to see our potential as limitless, but the time and world which we live in as limited. If we want to explore our limitless potential we must evolve beyond this world. If we are so focused on conquering it, we cannot go beyond it. There is no control, there is no dominion over our fellow human beings, over the animals, over the Earth. There is no control over the Solar System, the Galaxy, the Cluster, Super-cluster, or Universe. There is only mastering ourselves and discovering what the Universe has to offer. If we focus on control of others, of things which simply don’t exist, we cannot move forward, and we cannot fulfill our destiny, our only purpose, which is to be the Universe, investigating, discovering, and learning about itself.
Have fun, keep running, and remember; if Gil can run then so can you!
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